I need to learn how to stop letting things that I can't control, control my life.

If you figure that out, let us all know, sj.

Glad things cleared up for you, Ginger. I hate passing wrecks like that.

I need to learn how to stop letting things that I can't control, control my life.

Amen, sister.

It's nice to know it is not just me. I really don't know how not to be sick with worry about T right now, and nothing that anyone is telling me or I'm telling myself is helping.

Okay, this transphobic bullshit is making me see red.

I couldn't talk about it for a full day. I mean literally, because I would start to splutter and make nonsensical angry noises. But I e-mailed their advertisers and told them to pull their ads, lest they be associated with transgender-bashing child abusers.

Ten advertisers have pulled out so far. TEN. I've also e-mailed all of them to thank them for pulling their ads, and telling them that that action will lead to me giving them more business.

I wish I could take the path of nonviolence, but I would cause as much physical harm as I was able to if I ever met those wankstains.

(Obviously I'm a little irrational about this, but I have a big investment in it.)

And now I am going to make a smoothie. I cannot take the path of nonviolence, but I can take the path of the smoothie, which is much tastier.

And there's a certain inherent violence to the smoothie, what with shredding the fruit in the blender. You can imagine some lovely things.

mmmm. The path of the smoothie sound delicious.

And I like the point someone made in that link of...so you go with it and let the kiddo be a boy or girl or whatever. And then god forbid they change their mind back...so what? So now you let them grow/cut their hair and buy new clothes and call them a different name? Ooooooh. (They would've grown out of those clothes anyway, hint).

Note to brain/body: WHY are you attracted to people who are not useful/helpful/into you??? WHY? WHY? Why do you persist in going "oooh!" when the terribly inappropriate person does something while dancing that seems "hot" to you? WHY do you persist in wanting to drag ConfusingGirl off the dance floor, even though she seems not into it, and you know you can't even sustain a conversation with you? Meanwhile, WHY can't you be into the very fun girl who you ended up accidentally talking to until 2AM?? But noooo, nooooo Body, you can't be all "Oooh" for that one. USELESS, self, USELESS.

As an antidote to the rage-inducing transphobia, I've been reading and rereading this post by my sister about some of the kids & dads at the birthday party place where she works.

In the light of this horrifying episode with the talk radio show advocating violence against transgender children, I just wanted to share something from earlier today.

As some of you know, I work as a birthday party performer. Today's theme was "Princess and Pirates". During part of the party, we lay out costumes for the children to put on-- some for pirates, and many princess dresses.

Now, kids being kids (of three years old), many of the boys were drawn to the brighter colors and lighter fabrics of the princess dresses, and we had about three of the boys in princess dresses for most of the party.

Each one of the fathers smiled, took pictures, and just let the boys play. One even, while taking pictures, turned good-naturedly to another dad and said, "Like the daughter I never had".

It was really just nice to see Dads letting their kids be kids. They weren't old enough to be thinking of what gender they were supposed to be, and just picked out what colors they liked. And they were loved and supported for it.

Thought I would share.

Jess, that's awesome.

Transphobia sucks.

I'm currently tying to figure out how I'm going to get through the next month. In July, I start making good money, and will continue to do so through the end of the year, but this month is going to be barren. I'm still a bit short on this months rent, but I'm hoping my bank will cover the check anyway. I don't know, it's a new account. What little income I have for this month will cover some bills (but won't be coming in soon enough to prevent Internet shutoff next week), but I'm on my own for gas and food.

I've been scrambling to keep up since earlier this year, but this month is looking very bleak. I've already borrowed from family and friends, and that's all tapped out. I'm flat out stumped today. Frankly, borrowing any more at this point is just going tone a bad idea. I've called some temp agencies to see if they have anything super short term, but haven't had any success.