What I hate is the goddamn Home Depot ads about how many athletes work there.

Home Depot pays Olympic and Paralympic athletes full-time pay and benefits for working a flexible 20-hour week that they can schedule around training.

Related to subjective sports I mentioned above:

Look, I don't know much about gymnastics, but I do know that landing a vault on two feet is better than landing one on two knees. Olympic gymnastics judges evidently disagree with me, as they awarded China's Cheng Fei a bronze medal yesterday even after she fell on her vault landing. American Alicia Sacramone finished fourth despite, you know, not falling.

And today, 12-year old 16-year old Chinese gymnast He Kexin won gold over Nastia Liukin based on an obscure tiebreaking rule. The two received the same score from the judges, but He won a tiebreak because an Australian judge apparently was watching a different competition.

Every judging break seems to have gone China's way during these Olympics. I'm not suggesting a conspiracy, I just think that judges are humans who are influenced by big names, fans and other external factors. Oh, and they're also terrible. Judged events will always be viewed with skepticism by those who lose for this reason, particularly those who lose to a member of the home delegation. (Think Roy Jones Jr. at the 1988 Seoul Olympics.)

It is because of this skewed inconsistency that Fourth-Place Medal introduces The Real 2008 Medal Count. Our medal count will tally medals won in sports decided on the field of play, not by a judge in a teal blazer.

The judged Olympic events we will ignore for our tally are: boxing, diving, equestrian, gymnastics, judo, taekwondo, trampoline and wrestling. We debated whether to include boxing, wrestling and the martial arts in the list, as they can be decided by competitors. However, because the judging is prone to error and shenaningans, we will include it.

The Real 2008 Medal Count

China: 22 gold; 11 silver; 11 bronze

United States: 21 gold; 19 silver; 21 bronze

As you can see, in the events where medals are determined by competitors rather than judges, the gold medal gap between China and the U.S. is greatly narrowed, and the total medal count is an American runaway. Counting the judged events, China has a commanding lead in golds. Hmmm... Nope, nothing fishy about that!

I would love to see other countries thrown into that mix and see the results.

Medal counts annoy me.

Bigger countries are going to do better. Duh. Richer countries are going to do better. Duh. Basically, a high medal count means "we're a big rich country" and we really didn't need an Olympics to tell us that. What are you bragging about, Bob Costas?

Its neat to see what different countries excell at. China's long history of acrobatics is pretty clearly seen in gymnastics and diving. I'm pretty sure that nobody can skate like the Dutch STILL -- are they still getting around on skates part of the year?. The British have thrown a lot into their cycling program -- is there something particularly beloved and British about bicycles?

equestrian

There are a fair number of equestrian events that really aren't subjective. My daughter is a horse nut, so I've seen a lot of equestrian.

There are a fair number of equestrian events that really aren't subjective. My daughter is a horse nut, so I've seen a lot of equestrian

The one I saw the other night didn't seem to be -- you lost points if you knocked over a gate, landed in the water, or went over time. I didn't see any style or form points.

And it was GRIPPING! I could have watched for hours.

< geek moment>

I'm reading through the December 1963 issue of Vogue and I'm dying over some of the ads, both for the products advertised and the copy used.

The Deluxe Redi-Dryer Hair Dryer

For fashion minded girls. Salon type dryer... in travel case with mirror, nail dryer, tray. Bit hood fits over any hairdo. Whisper-quiet motor. Can be personalized with gold initials. $19.95

My mother had one of those.

Can't even close tag, because I'm a geek of giant proportions. Back to research with me.

Of the three equestrian events: dressage and the dressage phase of eventing are the only subjective tests. Cross Country and show jumping are purely based on getting over obstacles cleanly within the time allowed.

And it was GRIPPING! I could have watched for hours.

Jump off!!!

Seriously, it was fascinating.

And now I want a horsie.