how do you feel about monetary gifts?

That's what my parents do. It's cool, but I can't get away with doing the same in return and they are hard to shop for.

Gotcha, Tep. Since I'd just answered in that vein, I kinda kept on going. My issues, let me show you them!

I think we're in agreement that Mindfuckery? Bad.

And a follow-up question for the people who don't like being asked what they want for a present: how do you feel about monetary gifts?

My parents will sometimes give me money that's designated for a present and I'm grateful for it, for sure! but also I end up feeling like I should spend it on something practical. Like the mortgage.

I'm really grateful for any present!

It's cool, but I can't get away with doing the same in return and they are hard to shop for.

So do you ask them for a list?

I'm honestly very curious about this, because my family has always done lists, and no one has ever viewed it as "Since Dad gave me a list of what he wants, now it's an obligation and not an actual heartfelt gift."

Why is it any less heartfelt to give someone what they want? Does it mean I love my dad less because I ask him what he wants? I don't understand that.

I meant people who dislike being asked what they want, because that means the other person doesn't know you well enough to find a gift that suits you to a T and captures the essence of your relationship and commemorates whatever holiday it also happens to be.

Well I don't know anybody who'd describe themselves this way and I really don't think that's what I mean! I hope I'm not that person!

I usually tell people categories, when they ask -- I'm always happy with books, sometimes I want more jewelry, or towels, or something like that.

The people related to me are not familiar with the Amazon Wish List.

Why is it any less heartfelt to give someone what they want? Does it mean I love my dad less because I ask him what he wants? I don't understand that.

Is that what you thought I meant?

I'm really grateful for any present!

Okay, but, lisah -- you were one of the people who prefers to not be asked what you want. If person A asks you what you want and then gives it to you, and person B did NOT ask you what you wanted and gives you a gift they thought you would like, do you feel differently about the 2 people and/or their gifts? Like person A was just fulfilling an obligation but person B can see into the depths of your soul?

Because I'm starting to feel like my family is a bunch of shitheels for doing Christmas lists. Like we're all grabby-hands and utterly noncreative, neither of which is true.

Olympics - non-spoilery: this time is the first time for women's steeplechase - REALLY? Or is it just the first time for 3000m womens steeplechase? (Because it seems odd that they wouldn't have it if they have it for men.)

Hells no, Tep. Your family is no more a bunch of shitheels than mine or lisah's (or at least, I like mine a lot, and yours and lisah's have always sounded pretty damned cool from what you've said here) -- we've just all got slightly different cultures/habits/ways of doing these things, and I suspect we're each the most comfortable with our own.