I hate being asked what I want. It feels like being asked for a shopping list -- really, not only don't I really need anything, I'd rather have some little trifle that they picked out just because they thought I'd like it!

One of the best "in-tune" Christmas gifts I ever got was from my father shortly after I started grad school in NYC. A backpack (which I had asked for), but with all the different pockets filled with subway tokens. He had secretly arranged with one of my housemates to buy the 100 subway tokens and have them sent to him in NH.

I hate being asked what I want.

I don't hate it, but I somewhat embarrassed to answer most times. That's what wishlists are for, people. I don't need to start yapping about a book, an album or a shirt I want in specific times to try and hint people in the general direction of my will (which is hard enough as is). I want to have a free talking zone around me at all times. For the love of God, I can yap about peg hammers. Doesn't mean I want them, though they can be found quite often in my speak.

That's why (and also, the fact that I'm a total control freak. If people even try to surprise me and change something in my day routine, the first thing comes to mind is "oh my. Do I have everything I need with me to handle this situation?") I'm in charge on my own birthday parties.

Also, it's a custom in my family to have wishlists from as long as I can remember. Two weeks to a month before B-Day, you hang it on the refrigerator. You get what you wanted. That's it.

Hey. It's the one-year anniversary of Vampire People. Are we famouser than we were before?

A backpack (which I had asked for), but with all the different pockets filled with subway tokens. He had secretly arranged with one of my housemates to buy the 100 subway tokens and have them sent to him in NH.

That's an awesome present!!!

My best friend and I gave each other the same record for xmas one year in highschool. A Red Hot Chili Peppers EP (Baby Appeal backed with Get Up and Jump)...just had to confirm with best friend. She remembers EVERYTHING! (very handy!)

One of the best "in-tune" Christmas gifts I ever got was from my father shortly after I started grad school in NYC. A backpack (which I had asked for), but with all the different pockets filled with subway tokens. He had secretly arranged with one of my housemates to buy the 100 subway tokens and have them sent to him in NH.

Aw. That's awesome.

I don't mind being asked about what gifts I want, especially since I have no space for extraneous stuff. I do keep an Amazon wishlist, so that my family can look at what I'm interested in without having to ask me.

Had to skip, have been head-down in finishing up classwork. Did watch the women's marathon on Saturday as I was working - wow. I don't think I've ever seen such an impressive lead at the end. Poor Paula Radcliffe, too.

Randomish question, would you rather be asked what you want for a birthday present (thus increasing the chances you'll get something you really want or need) or have the person figure it out on their own (potentially getting you something you don't want or need)?

If there *is* something specific that I want (i.e., book that was just released, etc.), then I have no problem being asked what I want.

I hate being asked what I want.

Me too. If you have to ask what someone wants it makes it seem like more of an obligation than a gift.

Really? I consider it an opportunity to give them something that they actually want instead of crap that they'll pack off to Goodwill.

I dislike present-giving being a big test of How Well Do You Know Me And If Not, Why Not, You Goddamn Ingrate My Mother Was Right About You.

See I figure with close friends or family they should know me well enough to be able to figure it out! I do for them! OR have the sense to get in touch with one of my best friends (they all know each other) and ask them.

I think that expecting the person to figure it out can create a lot of stress and pressure, and implies that if you *can't* figure it out, you aren't really a good friend/don't REALLY love your spouse/etc. Some people are just hard to buy for.

Or am I the only person who knows at least 2 or 3 people who already have everything they want/need?

Some people are bad shoppers, too. They have the best intentions, and they love their spouse/friend/whoever dearly, but they just suck at shopping. I know people like that, too.

Let me pose a similar question, then: for the people who don't want to be asked what you want as a gift, how do you respond when someone asks you what you want? Do you tell them you want to be surprised? And when you get the gift, even if you love it, wouldn't you feel just a tiny bit bad if you knew that your friend/loved one spent weeks trying to figure out what in the hell to get you? Or would you just figure that if they spent weeks trying to figure out the perfect gift, they must not love you enough to know you that well?

I don't particularly like being asked point blank, but I try to make sure to give plenty of hints to the DH and Mom. I will say stuff like, "I'd really like some new earrings," or "It's so cool that lots of my favorite TV shows are coming out on DVD this year." That gives them lots of room to choose things, but helps them look in a specific area. I like that kind of guidance when I asm buying gifts myself.

The DH always wants a special guitar or some esoteric guitar-related thing, so he picks it out himself on eBay. I buy him a surprise little thing to go with. He loves the eBay shopping as much as the gift, so letting him pick it out is part of the gift in a way.

we BOTH read it before giving it!

Heh. That's like the Christmas my sister and I exchanged charity goats.

I don't mind being asked, though I've never asked anyone. Sometimes I wish I had, because I'm convinced I suck at gift-giving, but I'm self conscious about it because I can never keep track of who hates it.

It's the one-year anniversary of Vampire People.

Wow! Really? That's great. I think we're some famouser...we got our own little crop of Vampire People posters.