I haven't read the Reader's Digest in years, but they have a great interview with Stephen Colbert online.

Q: You, Steve Carell, and Jon Stewart have done some palling around. Which of you is Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis, Jr.?

A: Jon is Sinatra, I'm Martin, and I think Steve is Peter Sellers.

Q: How about Dan Rowan, Dick Martin, and Goldie Hawn?

A: I'm Dick.

Q: Goldie?

A: Steve. Jon is Dan.

Q: Larry, Moe, and Curly?

A: Jon is Moe, Steve is Shemp, and I'm Joe Besser, unfortunately.

and I'm Joe Besser, unfortunately.

Bwah! Bless him.

So, I totally love the unnecessary quotation marks blog, and I just found some in an old work document!

I can't "buy" that this a particularly "creative" or "innovative" approach.

Ha! There's a whole page of gems like that, but they get more specific.

The 7 Crappiest "Super Heroes" in Comic Book History

Ulysses Solomon Archer (U.S.A. get it? Get it?) fights evil in the highways of America in his pimped out truck to avenge the death of his brother, Jefferson Hercules Archer. At this point we can only theorize that their father had the impossibly awesome name of Washington Samson Archer McPornstar.

...

You know how Batman doesn't actually fight crime with trained bats? And how Spider-Man actually stays away from actual spiders? Well the Red Bee said fuck that shit, and fights crime with bees... for real.

Not only that, but he keeps his favorite Bee and best friend, Michael, in a special compartment in his belt for special occasions. So think of Red Bee as an Aquaman, but limited to one insect, making him the scourge of people allergic to bees and villains who have never heard of insecticide.

...

Do please sit down, because this one is a doozy. Little Richard Grey was born in Mongolia during a scientific expedition his parents were members of. The expedition was attacked by bandits and everyone died except for baby Richard, who was later found and raised by condors. If huge carrion eating birds don't know how to raise a baby, then who does?

Not bad for a bird that doesn't even live in Mongolia, or anywhere near Asia for that matter.

By the way, did we mention that the condors taught him how to fly? Yes, apparently being raised by birds means you can slap aerodynamics in the face. If you were a comic book writer back in those days working for peanuts, you wouldn't give a rat's ass what you put on the page either.

Heh. In honor of Condor-Man and other such heroes, for a role-playing game once, I came up with a superhero called Penelope of the Penguins. Guess who she was raised by?

Guess who she was raised by?

Puffins?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

I mean, if I shaved an inch back, I'd be in sixhead territory.

WORD. I'm already in fivehead territory -- hence the bangs.

Hee!

There was a whole backstory about how her tribe was kidnapped by the Anti-Claus to work in his sweatshop at the South Pole. Good times, good times.

Heh. In honor of Condor-Man and other such heroes, for a role-playing game once, I came up with a superhero called Penelope of the Penguins. Guess who she was raised by?

These two?

[link] [link]

What about Matter Eater Lad! He's from Bismol!