I've moved directly to calling cops, but it was on multiple loud, drunken rednecks breaking stuff at at 1 am.

For the solo junkie pounding on my neighbor's door at 3am, I just grabbed a hockey stick and chased him off myself.

To our neighbors,

A few months ago, several of the residents here contributed to the renovation of the backyard area. We spent a lot of money and time cleaning and planting and making it a pleasant place to hang out.

We think maybe we all got a sense of ownership about it, and forgot to be respectful neighbors to you.

We’re very sorry for any pain we have caused those of you who work early in the morning, or simply are sick of our loud, obnoxious, and otherwise lame behavior.

We all received a weirdly Draconian notice that we are no longer allowed on the patio from the hours of 8PM to 11AM.

We’d like to ask for a compromise of sorts, and have the hours be changed to match the hours of the laundry room, between 8am and 10pm every day.

We all look forward to coming home and having dinner together, meeting our fellow neighbors, gardening together, and otherwise laughing and having a good time.

We also use the area for meditation, writing, painting, and other silent activities.

Would everyone be amenable to making the patio available to all residents for use (including talking, at a reasonable decibel level) between the hours of 8am and 10pm?

All other times would be quiet/silent.

The patio means a great deal to us, and we thank you for considering this request.

Please feel free to contact me at my email address, or slide a note under my door, to let me know if you approve, or want to discuss this further.

Allyson Beatrice Apartment 8

Allyson000@aol.com

Allyson, you're so cool.

Awesome. I wouldn't use "draconian" --if anyone doesn't know what it means, it'll just make them crankier.

or simply are sick of our loud, obnoxious, and otherwise lame behavior.

You're taking responsibility, but you didn't intend to bother anyone.

Since some of your neighbors may not get the snark, I might keep it simple and modify the middle a bit--something like:

We received a notice today saying that we that we are no longer allowed on the patio from the hours of 8PM to 11AM due to complaints about the noise we caused. We never intended for our use of the patio to bother you or to interfere with your sleep and are very sorry that it has done so.

We regret that we have not been as respectful as we should have been, but we do all look forward to coming home and having dinner together; meeting our fellow neighbors; gardening together; and otherwise enjoying the community space we have created. We also love using the area for meditation, writing, painting, and other silent activities.

We would like to ask for a compromise of sorts, and have the hours be changed to match the hours of the laundry room, between 8am and 10pm every day. Would everyone be amenable to making the patio available to all residents for use (including talking, at a reasonable decibel level) between these hours?

All other times would be quiet/silent.

So, far, everyone I've spoken with is ripshit and offended at the notion that we have an 8pm curfew from the back door of our building.

I suggested we all sit on the front stoop. And then complain of unlawful imprisonment after 8 pm.

okey dokey, even the old guy upstairs didn't complain. I think I've narrowed the complainant down to the sociopath on the second floor who flushes his toilet as soon as maggie gets in the shower, as revenge for the one time she did it to him (accidentally).

I really don't see how they can put a curfew on one of your doors. Isn't that a fire hazard or something? It's so absurd.

Edited because I really can spell. Kind of.

okey dokey, even the old guy upstairs didn't complain.

One of the irritating things to me is that instead of the building manager speaking with us (as our prior manager did) about an issue, this weird curfew was put into effect.

And what she never considered is that we all feel like ASS for keeping someone up. Everyone out back would have apologized, packed up our stuff, and gone in.