During my lunch hour, I was in Tim Horton's, like a good Canadian. As I'm leaving, a guy walks in and asks, in an accent that wouldn't be a stranger on Coronation Street, if they serve English coffee. Does anyone know what he means by English coffee?

(Tim Horton's is a Canadian chain that sells cheap, mean, nasty coffee and the One True Doughnut. It's a Canadian institution.)

This is why I make it a firm policy never to take water or any kind of drink into the theatre. No need to encourage those kidneys.

Does anyone know what he means by English coffee?

Tea

In my defense, Titanic came out in 1998, didn't it? So I was only 13 and uneducated in the art of resisting anything, let alone the crying vibes that movie put out.

Oh, well you post much older. Given that you're now precisely half my age, and then were much less than half my age (then), I don't think the crying gods should be picking on you at all.

I do think they could have made it a much better movie if they'd cut out the Jack/Rose love story and just left in the bits with Billy Zane and that part where Kate Winslet got nekkid. And that movie should definitely have a bladder warning. I think some of the intended tragedy was probably lost on the large percentage of the audience thinking, "Oh hurry up and die already, I've got to pee!"

I cried at Titanic, too. But it wasn't when the ship was sinking, or when Leo died (I was blissfully cheerful at that point). Nope--I started choking up when the camera panned over the photographs of Rose's life. Which makes me feel kinda warped, in a way. ("Oh, look, thousands of people dying--yawn. Oh, now Jack's dead--whatever. Oh, now she's all alone--okay. Oh my god, she had a good life! bawling)

What clinched it, though, was the very last scene, with all of the dead passengers--from all three classes--together in the main hall. What with my weakened defenses from the "good life" scene, I was lost.

I didn't get in the least weepy-eyed at Titanic, but a recent mother's day commercial with a little tiny girl singing to her mother while bringing her breakfast in bed --a box of cheerios and a daisy -- made me teary-eyed.

ENGLISH COFFEE

Ingredients:
- 4 oz Hot Coffee
- 1/2 oz Kahlua
- 1/2 oz Amaretto
- 1/2 oz Creme de Cocoa (dark)
- 1 oz Heavy Cream
- Glassware: Irish Coffee Glass

Combine hot coffee, Kahlua, amaretto and creme de cocoa in an Irish Coffee glass and stir. Add heavy cream on top.

This was a coffee shop, Daniel. I don't think he was looking for booze.

I can't imagine what he meant, unless it was instant - we all drank Nescafe until Starbucks invaded.