No worries, Cindy. These days, with the weird pregnancy-induced forgetfulness, I sometimes feel very much like a lackbrain.

Have you yet tried to step into your bra?

When I was pregnant with Benjamin, I was still working. I got up, showered, ate breakfast, had a cup of coffee, then went to get dressed. I put on my panties, then picked up my bra and tried to step into it. I was probably about 7 months along, so my balance was off, and of course stepping into nothing (the bra wasn't even hooked) makes one kind of stumble. I caught myself with my left elbow on the side of my bed.

Then I tried to step into it again.

I stumbled forward again.

I caught myself - again.

I *knew* I was doing *something* wrong, but it still took me a minute to figure it out.

Have you yet tried to step into your bra?

No I have not. That sounds pretty funny.

These days I have only the one bra, and it only fits because I have an extender. I'm trying to wait out the bulk of the boobage so I can go right to nursing bras.

I had to buy new ones at the beginning of my second trimester, but they saw me through. They weren't nursing bras, though. My nursing bras were sub-par bras. I'd make sure to find better ones if I did it again (and if I do it again, please have me committed). I think my boobage paid a price. Stay away from underwires when you're nursing, they can bother your milk ducts.

My boobage definitely paid a price, but I blame it on the whole nursing process.

Nursing was the only time in my life I got stares on the streets. It was weird.

I've never seen a Smarties memorial to match it.

That's b/c Smarties don't need no steenkin memorial. They can stand on their own two feet ... so to speak.

It's a little known fact that Maltesers used to grow on trees. Eve didn't eat no damn apple. Anyone can resist an apple...

Anyone can resist an apple...

I can't. To me they're like round, sweet, crispy crack. Though I wouldn't want to try snorting one, really.

I can't. To me they're like round, sweet, crispy crack. Though I wouldn't want to try snorting one, really.

Leigh, sweetie? Remember, that whole sanity thing you were going for? Not helping.

To me they're like round, sweet, crispy crack.

To me they're like transportable worm houses.

Though I wouldn't want to try snorting one, really.

Umm, I don't think you'd want to try snorting crack, neither.

*refrains from whipping out the obligatory "sniffing a crack" joke*

I can't. To me they're like round, sweet, crispy crack. Though I wouldn't want to try snorting one, really.

I snorted chocolate once. Accidentally, mind you; I wasn't trying to, and in fact it was mortifying, since I couldn't stop sneezing.

How was I supposed to know that the shiny lurvely solid black layer atop a gateaux was actually black cocoa? I just leaned over to sniff....

*refrains from whipping out the obligatory "sniffing a crack" joke*

Heh, that'll teach me to use slang from the television. The precious lied to me, it lied!

I snorted chocolate once.

Last time I went to our National Folk Festival, a friend of mine decided to do that on purpose. She wasn't even high. And she also managed to chew an olive up and eject the entire thing out her nose, though that was more of a freakish accident.

Leigh, sweetie? Remember, that whole sanity thing you were going for? Not helping.

Hey! Apple addiction is a widely recognised illness. And I'd thank you kindly not to mock my suffering.