If we're pairing LOTR characters with their appropriate M&M colour, then we should all agree that red is the colour of pure evil. Big flaming yoni, my ass - it's the red M&M of evil, people!

Except when I start doing that from the beginning, I get a yellow M&M saying "I'm the prettiest."

No! Legolas is not evil!

No! Legolas is not evil!

Mmmm, but wouldn't he be so amazingly hot if he was?

t shakes head You know, while you people have been debating M&M colour semiotics, important things have been going on in the world! Like, The Bill had tons of same-sex shenanigans, and Parkinson had Jamie Oliver and that redheaded bloke who played Soames Forsyte!

but wouldn't he be so amazingly hot if he was?

thinks

Evil Legolas.

There is only one thing I can say.

I'll be in my bunk.

Like, The Bill had tons of same-sex shenanigans

It did? Shit. With the gay officer and the 'I'm in boring, repressed denial' officer? What happened to the pregnant lady who was being held hostage last week?...Uh, not that I'm still watching the show, of course.

Yes, darling Luke went into even more repressed denial, plus they have a new PC who's a lesbian! It can't be too long until we see the all gay, all naked Bill (and it can't come soon enough). In other developments, the pregnant lady had her baby two months prematurely after the station Superintendent (who was the father of the baby) shot himself. We don't know whether the baby will pull through.

When he will bow down and recognise Blue as the OTM :)

Now I'm visualising red/yellow M&M slash, Julie. Thanks a freakin lot.

Then my work here is done :)

edited to add. Sheesh, Angus. I can remember the old days when The Bill was all just.. "and together they fight crime".

I can remember the old days when The Bill was all just.. "and together they fight crime"

You mean it was always very gay? Or has my slash-addled brain just reversed engineered the meaning of the 'and together they fight crime' bit?

Yes, darling Luke went into even more repressed denial

Silly boy. Someone needs to sit him down and explain. 'Honey, you look very, very hot kissing other men. Also, you're not real--you're a fictional character on a show which is now quite rampantly camp. Get over yourself and get with the nookie!'

Leigh, the amusing thing is that the actor who plays Luke (Scott Neal) also played a gay teenager in the film Beautiful Thing, so I now see him going through this protracted coming out process and I think "darling, you've already done this!" (He is gorgeous in Beautiful Thing by the way...anyone who hasn't seen it should rectify the situation immediately.) The thing I find slightly less believable, though, is the idea that he's madly in love with that old troll Sgt. Gilmour...I mean, come on. The fact that you're gay doesn't necessarily mean you'll take whatever rubbish comes along.

(Incidentally, The Bill is now loads better than it was when it was all about crime and boring old police work, no matter what certain fun-hating people think!)

the actor who plays Luke (Scott Neal) also played a gay teenager in the film Beautiful Thing.

I love that film. A friend of mine insisted our group of friends watch it, and we thought it was great, though the stuff between Jamie and his mum was a bit realistic for comfort sometimes (in the good way, really). The ending with them dancing in the estate court-yard with everyone watching was perfect.

The Bill is now loads better than it was when it was all about crime and boring old police work, no matter what certain fun-hating people think.

'Tis true - though I sometimes have trouble making the adjust. It's been on the air longer than I've been alive, so I can understand people being attached.

Edited to add that Beautiful Thing is also why I think he should just give it up, because, yep, Scott Neal was so great in that film that I have trouble separating the two characters.