She's his only official next of kin. He has two ex-wives and an ex-girlfriend locally, and some siblings in LA, but his daughter, S, is the only blood relative within 500 miles.
Her stepmom, A, told me she'd already gotten clearance from Cal to take next semester off because "my dad is going to need me there to take care of him after all his surgeries." A is tough-minded and pragmatic and very protective, and she and I talked a bit, and I told her very quietly that the impression I got from everyone I trusted (I had his permission to talk with the docs) was, contrary to the hopeful message everyone was getting from his family, that no, he likely won't leave the hospital alive.
I felt extremely unsure whether I had any right to burden anyone with it, but there was such a gap between what the doctors were saying and what S and her mom were saying, and I was so afraid that when it happened they'd just be blindsided by it. A said she was glad to hear something straight and blunt, and that someone in S's inner circle needed to know the true situation rather than what other people hoped it might be in order to really look out for S's best interests.
It's been wrenching to think of this good, brave kid peeling herself away from the world she's built at college and gearing herself up for six months of full-time caretaking that will almost certainly never happen.
He's in so much pain; if it's the endgame now, I'm almost relieved that it is coming fast and without lingering and torturing him any further, but not really. There's no relief in this, really.