What Liese said, Strix! It's okay. I totally feel your meltdown though.

Strix, I completely understand that feeling, and that's why I've avoided looking into a cleaning service even though we really need one, but I'm sure Liese's right and they've seen worse and regardless they're getting paid.

We put a lot of value judgement on housekeeping and it honestly doesn't belong there. We live in a complex world. We are not 1950's housewives whose role is tied up in our ability to set a neat table. There is a lot of living going on, and if that means our houses get messy, then so be it.

I only know this because I do a lot of beating myself up for the state of my living. In fact, today I'm planning on doing a bunch of catch-up housecleaning. But my value as a human being does not diminish because I've been unable to keep up with it in the recent past. I am valuable *because* I am a human being. And so are you.

Thanks, Liese.

I'm just gonna babble for a sec.

Jumped in shower during meltdown, good.

Outside, good.

Circular breathing. Sipping on ice cold water.

LOUD WOOD CHIPPER, SHUT UP!

5 senses, flowers shoots, fresh air on clean skin, the almond of my shower gel, a sip of coffee for taste, birds.

OK, better.

Yup, good job. Keep breathing. Stay in the moment. You are ok. You are safe. You are cared for.

Yikes, flea! That doesn't sound good.

Keep breathing and babbling, Stri

The quick rown fo jumped over the two lay dogs.

Hm. I guess there are worse letters to suddenly lose.

I think the objects I have to hand that are most suitable for bludgeoning are all also breakable (these "b"s brought to you by cut and paste...) There's a flowerpot could do some damage, and I'm not attached to it.

Dear nurse practitioner. We do NOT. Repeat NOT need to make small talk before using the words "everything's fine" when calling with test results. I will talk to you after, but did not at that moment care how sunny it was outside.

Thanks so much for the ~ma, returning it to base until I can get the jet-pack trade in scheduled.

No shit, Sox!

Ok, better now. Wood chipper shut up, that helped.

That was the first full blown panic attack I've had since I got sober. Which is actually great! Because I handled it like a boss! A shaking, crying, sweating BOSS.

Go team me!

Thank you for being part of my support system, y'all.

Congrats sarameg on being one step closer to closing the door on CSWTFE

And kudos Rebecca on being so prepared for your trip!

I am patting myself on the back for not quitting on life. It's not much, but that's as good as it gets right now.

We put a lot of value judgement on housekeeping and it honestly doesn't belong there. We live in a complex world. We are not 1950's housewives whose role is tied up in our ability to set a neat table. There is a lot of living going on, and if that means our houses get messy, then so be it.

Conceptually I agree with you, but I suspect that the messiness of my house is killing me and stressing my kids out. I might have embraced this philosophy a little too hard.

Good job, Strix!