Emmett and CJ are close to the same age. Scary! He met A at the dojo when we moved out here 7.5 years ago. They became a couple a month or so ago. He tends not to share when he goes out with a girl but A insisted he tell me so I invited her to my birthday dinner last week. I'm glad her health scare turned out to be less serious than originally thought.

Dear Self, Stop procrastinating and do the hideous thing. It's been a week. You can't put it off forever and you can't get out of it, so pull your big girl panties up and get it done. It'll take an hour and then it's over. Okay? Good. Sincerely, Last night's Self

Ugh ND, that is seriously fucked up. I hope your lawyer can figure out what the hell has been done, and even more importantly, I hope you can find the space for your own grieving in all of it. I may know an estate lawyer, or rather someone who might be able to help find you one, although it sounds like your own lawyer might have a better in there.

I have a lawyer on retainer because of my business, so she's the first step in looking into it. If things end up outside of her expertise then it will be handled by someone else in her office.

The main thing I'm having my lawyer do is find out what was done. I'm probably not going to go after things in the trust. There's an IRA that I'm entitled to half of and I know that's safe, and if everything else has been messed up then I'll probably take the half of the IRA and walk away and never deal with my sister again and just close that chapter of my life.

That sounds both awful and like probably the right call.

I'm sorry that things have gotten so ugly, Drew.

This is a random thought I've been having, which is especially random since I don't even watch Broad City, but: I love that there are these female creators, like Abbi and Ilana and Rachel Bloom of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, because while they are all thin and pretty, they aren't quite thin and pretty in the way that casting agents would pick, and I like that.

And Amy Shumer! I guess you have to be funny.

In the conflict of Pope v. Trump, this is currently my favorite stupid comment on a newspaper article:

And what idiot appointed the Pope to decide who is and who is not a Christian?

Uh, there's a whole process and everything.

ION, I FORGOT my coke this morning because I was so tired. This is going to be a self-reinforcing problem.

And what idiot appointed the Pope to decide who is and who is not a Christian?

According to about 1.2 billion people, that would be God. The commenter should feel free to take the matter up with the idiot in question at the earliest opportunity.