To clarify, it's a new job responsibility.

Oh, because you needed ANOTHER one of those?

What I have done this week to piss off authors? Remember the bitchy one from Monday who argued that her email didn't include the due date? She returned her article today. We had to ask -- in several places -- for data that we are required to include, and the author replied "I do not see the point of this." and didn't provide the data.

She also went through and vigorously complained about changes made for our style (for example, we do not say "utilize"; we say "use") and her bitchy comment was "This is a purely stylistic change. Leave my original wording." Well...YEAH. It IS a style change and also FUUUUUUUUCK YOU.

So I got to email her and reiterate that we actually need all the data we requested because it is a journal requirement. I can't WAIT for her response.

It's so weird to me that authors get all whiny with the AMA.

This is a purely stylistic change. Leave my original wording.

Yeah, it's not like the AMA has a style manual or anything.

Right? I know this sounds very "Do you KNOW who *I* AM???" but...*does* the author know who we are? Our journals are rather highly regarded in the field of medicine. If you want to be published in our journal, cut the petulant bullshit and just answer the questions. Why in the hell does she think we asked them? Just for shits and giggles? Like, we don't *actually* care about the answers; we just want to see if we can make you answer the questions.

WE NEED THE DATA. Stop the diva shit and cough it up.

for example, we do not say "utilize"

Because it's a stupid word and people don't know how to use it. So bless you.

This is a purely stylistic change. Leave my original wording.

Yeah, it's not like the AMA has a style manual or anything.

Man, they don't give 2 shits about our style manual. They are THE WORST.

I'm obviously not reverting any of the wording back to her original wording because I want to see her have an aneurysm when she gets the page proof. She can fuck right off.

I'm actually shaking from rage on this one. I think I need to maybe eat something else (I did have lunch) and exercise a little to burn off the raaaaaaaaaaaage before I try to do any more author returns, because they might make my head go all Scanners.

Also, on the topic of your father, my husband and mother decided to team up on me yesterday. "You should go to a cardiologist and get your heart defect checked."

And I'm like "....because I haven't spend 20 years managing it on my own? And the last report was that it was minuscule and would never cause a problem? And because I put it on every medical history form I ever fill out?"

There's plenty of health-related stuff they could give me crap about. This one, I have covered.

This reminds me of when my sister was at Legal Seafood in Boston, waiting for a table, and some guy started getting huffy and raised his voice to say, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" (wait for it) "I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THE AMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION." Awesome.

I don't know what to eat for raaaaaaaage. Protein? Maybe a banana?

I'll try a banana and cottage cheese. Sheesh.

FB informs me that Mercury is retrograde, and apparently that causes all kinds of communication problems. I don't know that I believe it...except Jesus, this week is BONKERS. So maybe.