Our minister put our noses out of joint at my Aunt Mable's funeral despite being a personal friend of the family. We'd just lost my grandmother (her sister) a few weeks earlier after a looooong bedridden decline, and the funeral was the first time that whole side of the family had been together in one place in years—so we spent most of the wake visiting and laughing about funny incidents from my grandmother's life in relief. Then my aunt took a sudden turn for the worst, died unexpectedly, and not knowing anything about her except that she giggled a lot the reverend basically did a stand-up routine as her funeral service. It struck me and my parents as very disrespectful; just a canned somber service would have been much more appropriate.

Ford files patent for rear tire that converts into an electric unicycle.

About time.

Now the people who strip parked cars won't need to arrange their own transportation beforehand—convenient!

Awesome! Just yesterday I was parking my Focus and thinking: "If only I could detach the rear tire and use it as a unicycle."

God damn it. Why did we buy a Corolla???

All I can say is Hot Damn! Trump isn't even president yet and already America is becoming great again!

I left my lunch in the car, and I should do my self-assessment today. Sigh.

Well, don't ding yourself too hard on your assessment for leaving your lunch in the car. It doesn't reflect your overall performance.

Also, it's freezing outside, so my lunch will be fine. But I have to actually get up and retrieve it. Sigh.

Self assessments are no problem.

Accomplishments: Rocked super hard this year.

Goals for next year: Rock even effing harder.

Boom. Done.