I miss bonuses. And sick days. And paid time off. And decent benefits.

The thing is, when I was last contracting (at the Empire), I at least had a few holidays that were paid (if I worked the day before), and there was some sort of half-assed vacation money earning thing (that amounted to being able to at least take a day or two off without losing money).

This? Nothing. Occasional furlough days, though! Whee!

Yes, I'm having a Career Funk period where I'm resigned to being underemployed forever at this point.

My first request today involved a bad cite to the Federalist papers, and now I feel the need to listen to Hamilton.

Luckily I can do that.

Yay to bonuses and raises. Boo to companies who don't appreciate their employees.

{{{hugs and hairpats}}} to those having awkward family time.

My lungs are doing better today but man, I hate taking steroids.

Yay Hamilton (I haven't even listened to it, but just being exposed to the squee has made me quite fond of it)

I don't think we get any kind of bonus, although the company has not done well since I was hired (it's not my fault! It's totally a coincidence!) so maybe someday we will.

Yes, I'm having a Career Funk period where I'm resigned to being underemployed forever at this point.

Yeah, I have basically accepted that. It's not great, especially as I will be paying off student loans forever, but it took some pressure off me. Not that you should - you are way more hirable than I am from what I can tell through the internets.

I've really got to figure out how to drive 4-wheel drive. I started sliding on the freeway, but thankfully I was in the lane next to the shoulder, and then getting up the hill to work involved working around a stranded semi that was halfway up, and I nearly didn't make it. Half the department was standing at the office windows debating if individual cars would make it. At one point, there were two semis stranded at the foot of the hill at the major intersection. Then the salt truck/snow plow almost bogged out on the slush, but he finally got through.

Thank all the gods the sun is now out, evaporating everything. And there wasn't a lot of snow, it was just slush and a steep slope.

Yikes! If the snow plow has trouble, that must be pretty bad.

We get a "Happy Holidays" email from our boss that reminds us to monitor our email while we're out of the office.

OK, I kind of did that. But in my defense! The odds are really low that anything will come up, and if it does, it will be actually urgent. And I gave them Starbucks gift cards and will probably send them home early today.

But in my defense! The odds are really low that anything will come up, and if it does, it will be actually urgent. And I gave them Starbucks gift cards and will probably send them home early today.

You are forgiven.

No, my boss really means for us to work. Despite the Out-of-office autoreply, company policy is to answer all emails within 24 hours.

Not that you should - you are way more hirable than I am from what I can tell through the internets.

Heh. Sadly, were that the case, I'd have been able to get a real job instead of a shitty contract gig at about half my previous salary.

I mean, I did feel weirdly better when I talked to a recruiter that many other former Empire employees had worked with, and she said that, despite my many and varied skills, yeah, I was in a weird spot in terms of employability. Basically, I know how to do some of most of the big tech bucket non-programming jobs, because our roles were distributed instead of falling into a single category. But most hiring managers are looking for a single category person who is strong in that single category, and I am not that person.

So I'm stuck in this awful spot where the contract job thinks I'm this total rockstar, because I can wear so many random hats (and therefore, they keep throwing more work at me), but I can't get a real gig. This leads to me being bored, overworked, and filled with existential angst with a side of rage and feelings of betrayal.

The holiday season plus the change in our health insurance with the change in Paul's company, by the way, is making be doubleplus bitter right now. I try not to talk about it that much, because it just makes me a: feel like a whiny ingrate; and b: cry (literally, I mean: actually typing up the above has me actually in tears).

But, yeah, I'm sad that my life in my 40s isn't the one I was expecting to have at the start of my 30s. When I started the job hunt, post-layoffs, I was actually optimistic: I had all this experience! I had people who would recommend me! Surely, it wouldn't be as bad as the last time I'd looked for a job!

The reality was a fucking bummer.