That is some marvelous trolling, Burrell.
All that's left in the break room is a single, lonely bag of funyuns.
On my first hasty read I thought you had a single, angry bag of funyuns in your breakroom, and I was torn between fear and wild curiosity as to how exactly one gets a bag of funyuns all riled up.
Matilda's present from Santa has gone AWOL -- I ordered it last Wednesday, Amazon shipped it on Thursday, and it arrived early Friday morning in a city called Newark (maybe an hour's drive on the freeway from our front door, if that) and promptly departed thence for... parts completely unknown. The tracking number tells me it is still in a state of having left Newark early Friday morning; my work's mailroom reports that it has not yet arrived with them. It is gone.
I don't even know the current status of Matilda's Santa belief system, but I'm sure this will be a decisive episode in its evolution.
Amazon Prime, you gravely disappoint (eta: Amazon just updated the shipping info to inform me that the item is expected December 20; Amazon Prime, now I hate you).