At work, with socks and everything. So cannot cry, and have to try and focus.

But this morning I was reading here before I left home for work, sobbing. Every word you wrote here is true. The way Ginger reached out was... grace is the word comes to mind. Grace and reason. To quote Nilly, as if anybody is capable of it.

Darlings, I am here for those of you who will not be able to sleep. Much love to all. Please take care. I once again offer the "I'm in Jerusalem, let me know if any faith-based thingies are needed", for both this family and Ginger's friends and family in the U.S. - Zen, please feel free to pass my offer to them.

WindSparrow - it's a children's song title "We have come to banish the darkness". You can listen to it here: [link] We have come to banish the darkness/in our hands light and fire/each and everyone is a small light/together we are a strong light/move away, darkness, begone dark/move away from the light

Sigh.

I didn't know Ginger very well, and I thought I hadn't met her, but if she was at the SF2F, then I must have, though I was new then. I don't have Ginger memories to share, except for that time JZ suggested I get Seanan to send her an advance copy of Blackout back when she first got her diagnosis. I'm glad I got to do a nice thing for someone who's done such nice things for so many.

This year isn't fair.

I barely knew Ginger, but admired her very much from afar. Much like with ita, really. Why the best people? :(

Why the best people?

As a friend of mine said two days ago, "because that's who you surround yourself with".

Ginger was the first person who offered to edit my CV and resume in English, when I needed this to be done. She was also my giftee in a Secret Santa few years ago, but I still don't know if she received the things I sent her. I tried to ask several times to know if I should send a replacement, but was never answered.

But most of all, she was grace and reason and wisdom in Bitches. I will miss her pixels, very much.

Edited to add: I am also trying not to get angry at things on account of this death. I'm quick to anger, but this is just sadness in disguise. And it's not a very Gingery-thing to do.

Let me share something about balance. DC 2004 was the first time I met Ginger, and she made a sheepish confession that she had lurked on the board, particularly in Bitches, for many months while she was in chemo before she decloaked. She was so tired, she said, too tired to type, too tired to make conversation. But those people in the the box, she said, filled her up, gave her hope, made her smile and sympathize, engaged her emotions and her heart. We were her community long before we ever knew there was a Ginger.

So though I'm sure she never thought of it as something as mundane as payback, still she helped those she could, when and as she could, and we had helped her, too.

Never enough, though. Not nearly enough.

Thank you, Beverly.

And I don't think I said it, so thank you so much, Zen, for communicating the harsh news and for being there for Ginger when she was in the hospital.

Yes, thank you so much, Zen.

I read the news when I woke up this morning because I'm about 13.5 hours ahead of board time. I'm sad. I miss Ginger.

I'm in our India office now, and I spent the morning fumbling around for basic things like where the bathrooms are, where is food, how do I get coffee, and where do I sit? It's too hot for actual socks, but I'm pulling up my metaphorical socks.

Thank you for letting us know, Zen, and for being our connection throughout.

Farewell, Ginger.

Goodbye, Ginger.

Zen, thank you for everything you did for Ginger and for us.