I just skipped straight to lunch and had a turkey wrap, string cheese, and a banana. Maybe yogurt later.

I am exhausted and sore all over. Not achey like you get with the flu; more like sore after lugging heavy boxes around all day (which I did not do yesterday). My body is just as unhappy as my soul is.

We may be scattered across the globe, but it feels like we are each sitting next to Ginger, giving her our strength and love. Taking turns at dealing with real life before returning to her side.

I'm just SO SAD about this. I forget for a minute and then it comes back and bang, the cloud covers the Sun.

I am having salty snacks for lunch. All the salt.

Yeah, I am doing that, too. Also all the sugar, but more consciously all the salt.

I just keep making more tea and going outside to smoke, and wishing I was home cuddling with Franny on the couch. (Dog!Franny, to be clear, although I would be happy to hug Burrell's Franny, too.)

Dangit Amy, now I want to hug a Franny on the couch too!

I went to sleep and had a dream about a rowdy, kick ass high school girl, with a southern accent. I wasn't really in the dream I was just sort of watching it unfold. She had red hair. Don't know what it means, but when I woke up i thought "I hope that was Ginger".

I'm home sick. Could be flu, could be a Fibroflare. I really need to be at work. We are behind, short-handed and our jobs might be in jeopardy. So this sucks. but I feel like I've been hit with a truck and my throat is sore. Trying to decide if I should go to urgent care or just hope I can go to work tomorrow. Blerg.

I love you guys and love that we are all vibing for Ginger.

Things that have gone wrong today:

7:30 Contractor went to pick up supplies at Home Depot and they didn't have his name in their system (their online screw-up) so converted garage floor install is delayed and it took 30 min of my time to sort out the screw up (and he can't pick it up until tomorrow).

Had an FDA webinar at 8AM where I could not properly access the audio. Don't know if issue on their side or mine. But needed key info that wasn't provided visually so complete waste of time.

Had a telcon with other members of the panel I am on for a conference in DC next week. The moderator's mother has died and so she can't attend, which means the rest of us need to shift gears and reorganize the presentation we've been working on for 3 months. Thankfully the other panelists are awesome and though it's a hitch in our plans, it's not disaster.

Trying to schedule a second demo of a MUCH NEEDED product for our Regulatory department and no one has updated outlook calendars so we keep trying to schedule (including vendor's sought after time!) and then hear back from folks that they won't be able to attend. It's time sensitive because budget for 2017 is due now. Not a typo, we set system software budgets that early. Also the IT project manager doesn't read important emails from me and keeps screwing up logistics.

I keep thinking about Ginger and how basically every day of her life for the past couple of years has been THIS frustrating, with the lovely addition of incredible pain and sense of mortality. So then I get mad at myself for being so angry and...yeah.

In the plus department, I made toast and scrambled eggs that were the best I've ever made. When Joanna and Sean (and Smoosh!) visited me on Thanksgiving, Jo taught me how to properly make scrambled eggs. Yes I am 46 years old and can FINALLY make tasty scrambled eggs.

Thanks for reading. The End.

I keep trying to put into words what this community means to me, and instead I keep getting this image of a woven quilt, in all of the colors ever, spread out around the world. We're both the quilt itself and sheltered underneath it. I hope Ginger can feel that.

We are Groot.

All peace~ma for Ginger.

I've been off the board for a few days (busy times at work, then a messy weekend that I'll discuss when things are less -- focused here).