Extra socks and spoons and hugs for everyone. Sounds like we can all use them.

I have about 7 hours of work to do, and I'm dreading every minute of it.

Vibing for you, Sparky, I meant to say. My memory is not the greatest rn.

Surgery pushed up to 3:30 tomorrow. Which means I have to reorganize a million things, but that' good.

Hoping so much that Ginger can feel all of our love surrounding her.

I should say, the contract issues here won't be solved for months. Until then, the 8 of us will be pawns, so I will be stewing in this mess for a while. I appreciate you all trying to help me keep my socks up.

Best of presentations, Maria.

Kick ass, Maria!!

Good luck Amy--I hope either they can do it sooner or you can get some pain relief!! (ETA: yay!)

And Sparky, that sounds awful! Why would he refuse to sign the contracts, that just sounds assholic.

This is kinda crazy, but if anyone needs a place to be for Christmas, I have a spare room and we have no plans. Things will be low key and maybe not so festive, but I have a tree and a safe place with others.

Dear Ginger,

I don't know if you'll get to see this. And I know that this might not mean much from a guy you've met, like, twice and hasn't been around here a whole lot over the last few years. Nevertheless...

...I don't know.

I have one skill. One. Words. And they're failing me right now. I'm crying at my desk, and my fingers keep moving, but I don't know what they're going to say. I know what I want them to say: "Don't go." But they don't have that power, the words don't have that power.

All I can say that is vaguely useful is: We love you. We will miss you. We want your pain to stop, we want you to be happy, we want you to laugh and write brilliant things and we want to be able to be with you while you do all those things. But if we, if *I* can only have one of those things, then I choose for the pain to stop.

I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry, but I feel like I should be able to do something that the best minds on the planet can't. I just wish I could save you. I wish I could save everyone.

I love that you are in the world, I love that you are a part of my life and I don't want that to stop. And I hate, *hate*, HATE what's happening.

We love you, Ginger. You make our lives better. If I can't stop what's happening, I can tell you that. You make our lives better. You make *us* better.

You're probably scared. I would be fucking *terrified*. I wish we could all be there, by your side, holding your hands and just letting you know that you are loved, that it's okay, that you are good and will be missed, but we want you to be free from the pain.

If you read this, please...just hold that in your heart. Hold that we are there with you, as best we can be, holding your hands, hugging you, telling you how much we love you.

That's all I can offer. That thought, that image, that hope.

We are with you, Ginger. We're here.

And we love you.

Vibes to Maria and Sparky and Tep and all the other giant-task-at-work-tacklers (my stuff is fine -- it's all fairly tedious mostly automated online billing/accounting stuff, no presentations or locking horns with obstreperous humans).

And love to Theo and msbelle for their offers. And love to Scola because he's Scola.

Hard news about Ginger. Cancer sucks.

She sent my daughter a fossil. I mean how awesome is that? She is a great person.

MM, that is gorgeous and hurtful and exactly right. Words are indeed your gift; thank you for sharing them, and for saying what so many of us are struggling to.

Love you, MM.