I was about to blame my eagerness to move into a retirement community to the fact that I'm a single renter!

I keep pointing out to my parents that there are senior apartments AND a greenhouse model [link] nursing care facilities right across the street from me. And they'll be breaking ground soon on what I believe is an assisted-living residence that sorta lands in between the senior apts and the nursing home in terms of care.

But I think they'd look for something closer to the grandkids if they were to go that route and leave NM. They've got their active social life in NM.

So because of space and staffing issues (and finances), we're not moving Mom, at least now now. In the long term we might be able to get the facility to provide enough support for her; in the short term we're hiring an outside agency to provide support 4 hours/day for 6 days/week. That at least will get her dressed, fed, & showered, and give my Dad a break so he can go walk the dog, get a workout, etc.

Frankly, I don't know what else I can do. She's not in good shape: very shaky and out of it, and I suspect that very soon she won't be able to get out of bed at all. I don't know what happens then.

Random: has anyone seen the play Good People ?

Yes! I saw it at Steppenwolf and it was wonderful. [link]

Could those meteor sightings be centered in Grover's Mill, N.J.?

Heh.

My father's been scarily pro-active preparing for a physical and mental downturn in our parents' lives. He finally gave up putting me in control of his money--between living in the US and working in the financial industry the hurdles were too high--but it took him more than a year of trying to say "Okay, your sister's on the account, and we've talked about it so there will be no problem for you to get the money."

THE FUCK??? He's also clear that he doesn't want me to move home if anything happens, but I think my mother's infirmity with the cancer (she's better about both now) made him more aware, and he's scoping making their house more accessible, with handrails and the like. I don't know what actual care he's planning for, but I'm ashamed at how relieved I am he's doing all this. Living this far away does make me feel guilty--my sister wanted to spend her sabbatical in New Zealand, and my mom was "that far?" and now her plans are downgraded to antipodean vacationing instead.

I was about to blame my eagerness to move into a retirement community to the fact that I'm a single renter!

Hah--I think it's because I'm an extrovert. When I was going off to college my grandmother was (very sadly/angrily) moving into a retirement/nursing home, and I was like "but grandma, these are the two times in life we'll move into a place with lots of people our own age/stage in life, be around them all the time, and get to make lots of new friends, there's always new people coming in!"

She was not amused.

I recently compared living in my neighborhood to living in the dorms, just we have whole houses to ourselves and an adult sense of space. Which...it's true. I could and have knocked on any door pleading a need and have gotten help. We have gotten messy drunk together. But we also do grownup versions of dorm stuff like cleaning the freaking leaves and snow. A slew of us largely-single females have joked about this block turning into a defacto functional retirement community if we all stay put and stick to our habits.

I don't know what actual care he's planning for, but I'm ashamed at how relieved I am he's doing all this.

Well, at least he's planning. Since my folks didn't plan at ALL, which has made my life... difficult.

I had two leftover cupcakes, and I ate one. Do I save the second one for tomorrow, when it will still be tasty, but a bit more stale?

Do I save the second one for tomorrow, when it will still be tasty, but a bit more stale?

There's a theory that a single cupcake, left alone overnight, will get lonely and depressed and thus deteriorate faster.

Random: has anyone seen the play Good People ?

I saw it at the Alliance in January. The unpleasant landlady was too unpleasant for me.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this, Consuela. As my mother keeps saying, "It's hell to get old."

A friend's parents lived in a retirement community that had a concierge to make reservations and a limo to take you to the event.