Marijuana lights: Boss kept going on about how ace these lights were, that they were commercial high grade lights, perfect for growing seeds. Then after we explained the blinding problem, she then went on the say "yeah, they're what you use when growing marijuana in your closet".

Thanks so much le nub, I'll have to reread your post more than three times and let it permeate in case the situation rears itself again tomorrow.

It drives me nuts. She's spread so thin that she doesn't have time to micromanage me, so thus I am left to do the best that I can with broad strokes, and seeing that I was the interim Dir. of Horticulture for the past four years off and on, I think I have a pretty good handle on shit that needs doing, and we just *have* to operate like that, with her handling the admin side of things while I'm in the trenches. And then she snaps back every now and then and gives the firm impression that I need to ask her when it is most efficient take a piss, if I could only figure out the formula of water intake, and sweat output depending on projected intensity of labour and average daily temperature.

Does she want a dancing monkey or someone who can take initiative while she's tied up in phone conferences. I feel very neglected . . . until I'm not.

Julie,

I have a lot of experience dealing with difficult adults in professional settings. If she is completely irrational though, you might have to wait until she gets busy again and neglects you to work all of this out.

I knew I should not have asked you for an explanation for marijuana lights. I had this image of marijuana being grown in the basement of a school and that's how the school was being funded. Further, I expected you to be interviewed on "This American Life" about your drug enterprise.

Now, I'm disappointed and dejected.

But she's made anti gay remarks before. I know I read something about it but I don't know how to find it through all the links that are about the current remarks.

Here's the thing: If most of the people left her concert had a particular impression of her remarks, including the person tweeting for her on stage, I think she is at best dissembling about her intent. Second, she reportedly said she was "nervous" about her remarks and would see who her true friends were.

I think she's got some stuff to work through and it would be best for her to do it out of the public eye.

But she's made anti gay remarks before

Yeah, I saw some of those reports, too. I think she's really struggling, and I suspect the line between what she thinks and what her church thinks isn't as clear as she'd like us to believe.

Len, we should totes have a drug enterprise in the basement of an historic estate!!!!

We are, after all, a poor non-profit with a slashed budget that was already anorexic to begin with. Do rich housewives of New Jersey partake? We might have the market!

Today's hilarity with co-workers: our admin just told me about one of the other women at our company who came to work the other day wearing a corset. "Super-cute, but, y'know," she make the universal hand gestures for HELLO THESE ARE MY BREASTS. "And she said, "But Jillian wears a corset!" and I said "Yeah, but under like seventeen layers of clothes!"

I feel extra sad. Not only am I googling "how to deal with control freaks", but half the advice is for abusive relationships. What makes it extra sad is that, if this were a relationship, I'd be out the door. Maybe if my theoretical controlling boyfriend was paying me I'd stick around, too.

Timelies all!

Juliebird, sorry that your boss is being ridiculous.

I also want to note, in the case of the control freak, that I am of team mentality. I was in the Army, I drank the "there is no I in TEAM" kool-aid. And when I was hired into this job, the job interview included the paraphrased statement of "we are a small staff, and wear many hats" and helping everyone do their jobs was always the modus operandi, even if we in the hort dept. became resigned to that not referring to us.

Now I'm dealing with a very we/us them mentality, which, in a staff of nine people, only five of whom are full-time, is frustrating. Our Executive Director mops the coffee splashes off the walls and sweeps. We help each other. And nobody helps weed the garden, and I'm copacetic with that. Because we are also the only department that has hundreds of volunteers doing our shit for free.

I feel like a double agent, or whatever the arrangement is, trying to be a team player and be a loyal subordinate within our department.