isn't there a difference between being attracted TO someone, and thinking that they are attractive?

Sure, absolutely.

Karl, I get what you're saying, but I can't tell from your post if you think there's a distinction between "attracted TO" and "finds attractive." You don't *have* to find a distinction; like I said, I'm very aware that my perspective is not the prevailing one. Maybe there is no distinction for most people -- that's what I was asking.

I'm friends with plenty of people I find attractive, as in I appreciate that they're nice to look at. Both men and women. I do not want to jump into bed with them.

Usually the people I would like to jump into bed with are also people I find attractive, but it's not always about how good-looking he or she is. It's about who they are, how they make me laugh, how their minds work, etc.

Hrm. I think of 'finding attractive' as a sort of abstract thing, like looking at celebrities or other images where I don't have a lot of personal context.

And I think of 'being attracted to' as someone I'd actually like to spend time with.

So yes, I'd say there's a pretty strong distinction for me.

Hrm. I think of 'finding attractive' as a sort of abstract thing, like looking at celebrities or other images where I don't have a lot of personal context.

And I think of 'being attracted to' as someone I'd actually like to spend time with.

Interesting. There are a lot (well, okay, a handful) of people I like to spend time with -- other than Tim -- but I'm not attracted to them.

Perhaps we're just using different definitions.

I would say yes, there is a distinction. I think it's safe to say that everyone I'm friends with has something I find attractive (not limited to the purely physical), otherwise who would we be friends? There's a much shorter list of friends I'm attracted to, in the if-we-were-both-single-and-available-hell-yes sense.

I wouldn't say that the only people I want to spend time with are those I'm attracted to.

But if I'm attracted to someone, chances are I'm going to want to spend time with that someone.

A bit clearer?

I wouldn't say that the only people I want to spend time with are those I'm attracted to.

But if I'm attracted to someone, chances are I'm going to want to spend time with that someone.

A bit clearer?

I didn't misunderstand your personal defintion of attraction; I was just trying to work out if there was a difference between "attracted to" and "finds attractive." (Not just for you -- this is a general question.)

if-we-were-both-single-and-available-hell-yes

I find this hyphenated phrase wonderfully evocative and enthusiastic without being sexist or crude. I just want to marvel at it for a moment.

OMG, Matilda has been a super fuss-pot this week.

I think she's shed tears every morning while getting ready. And it's not just one event per morning, we're probably averaging three separate Cry Events between waking and getting to school.

It hurts when we comb out her hair.

She didn't like the way mommy did her hair. The braids are wrong.

The toe-seam in her stockings is misaligned.

Her tights are droopy.

Her cheeks are cold.

A raindrop hit her.

The tag in her shirt is scratching her.

Halfway to school this morning, she announced that she had to pee and there was no way she could hold it. It's ten minute walk. I threatened "No Ice Cream Ever In The History of the Universe" if she peed on herself. She made it.

The Princess and the Pea is not a fairytale, but a documentary on her life.

I am sad to report that I have dropped a few exasperated "F" bombs. "I don't fucking care if you have a tiny scratch on your hand! For fuck's sake quit whining about it. If you're not bleeding or on fire or shooting vomit and diarrhea from both ends simultaneously or covered in Bubos or sporting a compound fracture: deal with it."

None more fussy.