Choose Your Own Adventure Office.

Huh. I was eaten by a giant snake-man. That was unexpected.

I am watching Conan and there is a self-defense guy on there. He is teaching Conan how to puncture someone's skin with a sharpie.

I am going to fuck someone up tomorrow.

Le Nubian you are cracking me. On morning announcements each day, my school's Dean mentions how Sharpies are "tools of vandalism" and can get you suspended. Now I"ll have to tell them they are dangerous weapons too!

Apparently some people think the President killed Breitbart:

Was he whistling "The Farmer In The Dell" at the time?

It's kind of like, have you ever had an acquaintance that you suspected was sort of a dick, and then you're at a party or something and the person just goes off on a deeply racist/sexist rant, expecting everyone to agree, and you're all just sort of embarrassed for him/her? And you don't know what to do but step away?

Oh dear. I helped Wallybee with an interpreting training course. At one point we broke into groups to brainstorm, then had one rep from each group present. Our group had a Vietnamese interpreter present for us, and in the middle of it she suddenly went on this bizarre tangent about how we shouldn't allow any immigration from Afghanistan because they're all terrorists or some such, with a Pushtun interpreter sitting three rows away from her. I don't often want to crawl under a chair, but there's a time right there. (The Pushtun interpreter rightly called her on it, and managed to remain remarkably controlled about expressing his outrage.)

On morning announcements each day, my school's Dean mentions how Sharpies are "tools of vandalism" and can get you suspended. Now I"ll have to tell them they are dangerous weapons too!

Well, they are called "Sharp"ies. It's right there in the name.

Hey, Lee, will you marry me? Or, more urgently, how come you can marry people? Are you a secret priest?

(I totally want to be able to marry people)

You know when you meet someone and think "Exactly like you sound. You look *exactly* like you sound."? I wonder if anyone ever thinks that when they meet me?

Note for y'alls: Don't tell a nursing woman she's eating for two. It's really not worth it. Some things can just stay in the really inside voice.

Fuck, I spent five minutes bailing myself out of that one, and I *seriously* had only meant she was feeding an additional person.

You know when you meet someone and think "Exactly like you sound. You look *exactly* like you sound."? I wonder if anyone ever thinks that when they meet me?

YES! Also synesthesia!

I met two people this week that were the manifestations of their voices. One was...not flattering, and I swear I'd just spent too much time listening to him speak, and he just fit a stereotype.

The other woman, though, I swear even her makeup matched her voice. How do even do that? Who's chicken, and what's the egg?

I'd like to flatter myself and think I either sound *this* smooth on the phone (::insert barking laughter here::), or I'm the Spanish Inquisition. Not sure which one I'd prefer.

Unrelatedly, some days, many days, I think there's nothing I'd rather do than make my mother laugh. I love hearing her laugh. And I love that I can. I love that she still laughs. I know she's depressed about what's going on, but she's being strong about it, and sucking it up, and even mocking herself, but I can also tell when she laughs that she's grateful for every opportunity for a good one, despite.

Unrelatedly serially, Colin and I like to gross each other out, but sometimes the mere fact of his fandom existing makes me unduly delicate. I will not let him know I have this weakness.

I decided I should find something with him in to re-tumbl, and the first result?

i’d bang colin ferguson so hard man he’s like the sexiest 39 year old ever

Now I'm off my game. If there's Colin butt here, I'm going to set someone's desk on fire.

People tell me I sound tall. And that I post tall. People are surprised that I'm short when they meet me. :/