When I was four, I wanted to either be an astronaut or a bus driver.

I guess I still could be a bus driver.

Here is a baby sloth in pajamas. You’re welcome.

Good god, they really are just ridiculously adorable.

Aw, Jesse, I'm going to send you some homemade hip hop fortune cookies.

It is a pretty good life. I'm grateful.

Some what?? That sounds awesome! Anyway, I'm serious.

I think I probably would have liked the Bloggess more before she became the Bloggess. She's amusing sometimes, though.

That's kinda my stance. Mostly, I am slightly (and somewhat ashamedly) envious of her family's apparent standard of living. Am I right in assuming she doesn't have a day job?

When I was little, I wanted to either be the Wicked Witch of the West or a vampire queen. I figure I still have time to make either of those goals.

I have slightly achieved Zen's plan. Astronomer adjacent, at least. I did plan on being an astronomer with the letters after my name, but I'm glad I didn't.

I don't remember what I wanted when I was that young. I'm sure it involved ponies.

homemade hip hop fortune cookies

This sounds like a viable career plan. There needs to be a food version of Etsy.

Mostly, I am slightly (and somewhat ashamedly) envious of her family's apparent standard of living.

Oh my god, this. SO THIS.

emergency contraception? Because that you do take after the fact, at fifty bucks a pop.

Re: emergency contraception, I was at CVS the other night, waiting to get Mah Drugz, and the woman in front of me asked the pharmacist for Plan B. [I have to note here that CVS needs better privacy measures, but it's a big stupid chain pharmacy and you have to ask for it at the counter, and when there are other customers waiting for their prescriptions right behind you, there's no way not to be overheard. I took a big step back and tried to not listen, but the pharmacist was kind of loud. They need to fix that.] Anyway, after reading lots of horror stories about pharmacists refusing to dispense Plan B, I was thrilled to see the pharmacist just ask the woman if she wanted brand-name or generic, and explained the difference between the two (apparently the generic is 2 pills taken 12 hours apart, where the brand name is 1 pill). That was it.

When I got up to the counter I was going to thank the pharmacist for, well, doing her job, but then I didn't want her to think I was eavesdropping. Which I kind of was. But, like I said -- not easy to *not* overhear the way they have it set up, and considering how loud the pharmacist was. But still, I thought that was pretty cool.

And it's really fucking sad that I'm thrilled that the pharmacist just did her damn job.

Some what?? That sounds awesome! Anyway, I'm serious.

Homemade fortune cookies with hip hop lyrics as fortunes. So after dinner you can crack one open and get Success is your only motherfucking option, failure's not. - Eminem

Or, A man don't really love you if he hits you. - Queen Latifa

And then, then, you eat the cookie and say, "Word."