So sad.

At least I feel comfortable that these people are using "literally" accurately.

What? It's something.

I think Russell Brand is kind of sexy. Wasted on that Perry chick, seriously. However, I think the message to Tim would be slightly lost if I offered up my goodies to him, so I won't put that as a priority.

...wait. I think Russell Brand is kind of creepy. Dang.

Sleep with Katy Perry. THAT will show him.

I think he'd be pretty on board with that.

And by "on board," I mean "cheering like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader."

I started reading the Good Riddance 2011 post on Jezebel, but I got to this pretty early on and stopped, because I just don't even know:

I got arrested b/c my now 4-year old son decided to open our front door and go to the market across the street while I slept. I spent five days in jail and now have to do parenting classes

I'm not sure how the kid managed to get the door open, and that's of course completely terrible and highly dangerous for him to do, but is the answer really five days in jail? Also, she lost her teaching job as a result.

So, you know, I don't need the depressing stories of people I don't know. It's bad enough for the people I do.

Also, I'm still at work. So, you know, wrong.

We left work early and got sushi. And I got a cocktail.

In conclusion: woohoo VODKA.

I got arrested b/c my now 4-year old son decided to open our front door and go to the market across the street while I slept. I spent five days in jail and now have to do parenting classes

I'm not sure how the kid managed to get the door open, and that's of course completely terrible and highly dangerous for him to do, but is the answer really five days in jail? Also, she lost her teaching job as a result.

When she blames a five-day jail stay on something her son did, you know you're not getting the truth. This is something my BiL does that makes me crazy.

My father was four when he managed to get onto their roof. A neighbor called and told my grandmother. Kids can get into a lot more than you think, especially at that age.

Also what bon said, though. There's definitely way more to that story.

Also also, OH MY GOD BRAKE JOB. We're skipping dinner out. Anyway, we can smooch here.

When she blames a five-day jail stay on something her son did, you know you're not getting the truth

I'm either more or less pessimistic than you are, because I have no problem conceiving of someone getting raked over the coals on child negligence charges for something like this, especially given the range of things he could have been doing in the market, the environment he had to be in to get there, and the people that would find him and report the parent. Seems plausibly shitty to me.

Holy shit, M and I were just out taking a walk when we saw what looked like a plane on fire! But we couldn't tell for sure, and we lost sight of it behind a house for a minute, and when we saw it again it looked like whatever was on fire had been jettisoned. And then the fire went out, and we didn't see or hear any kind of crash, so... I have no idea what it was! This was about 45 minutes ago, and none of the local news channels have anything about it on their websites, so I'm at a loss, and am now choosing to believe that it wasn't a plane after all, if only because I'm not sure I can handle the thought of having witnessed a plane going down in flames. But whatever it was, it was really bizarre and scary.

Crap, I need more stain. And I don't feel like going out again tonight. Enough for a first coat, but a couple of places need a little extra.

Porch light is re-glassed and hung. It's pretty!

Swim was crap, but I didn't have to stop.

Now I'm going to give myself a manicure, then go let the dogs out down the street.