society/culture/context: we're soaking in it, and damn if it isn't complicated and fraught

Yup.

I think it's a difficult conversation to have, with all the best will in the world, because at the same time, many things are simultaneously true: we are affected by the culture around us, including socially-defined concepts of beauty and sexuality; we want to present ourselves in ways that we, personally, find attractive; we want to believe that our values are our own, not created by outside forces; we value the freedom to make our own decisions and operate as individuals.

Navigating all that is... messy. I hope that acknowledging that society (at least partly) shapes our concepts of femininity and beauty doesn't take away from Allyson's control of her own body presentation--but I can see how Allyson might perceive it that way.

And I don't have an answer for that, except that I think it's better to be aware of these issues, because it gives us, as women, more power. I use performative feminity more consciously (and successfully) now that I'm aware it is a performance, than I did when I was younger and my distaste for makeup and dresses made me think I wasn't a proper girl.

I don't know if that made any sense.

I'm so sorry about Byron, Pix.

People's worst nightmare at holiday parties -- vegans and gluten-free people. [link]

I'm cracking up at how, in my FB post about it, the comments have devolved into praising bacon and Lindsey's plastic hand.

And now I just suggested a new Ryan Gosling tumblr: Hey, Girl, I Hear You Have Food Sensitivities.

"Hey girl, I hear you can't eat gluten. Let me make you some wheat-free torte. It's my grandma's recipe."

I think it's a difficult conversation to have, with all the best will in the world, because at the same time, many things are simultaneously true

I agree with your entire post. And that right up there is what I kept wrestling with as I started and then deleted a couple posts. I still can't say what I want to say without taking forever and not really expressing just what I mean anyway.

I just tried again right here in this post and failed, so I give up. Fraught is a good word for it.

Sophia that sucks so much that your phone got stolen, especially when you were trying to be a nice person and let someone use it!! Geez.

Also, poor Matilda, and I wish I got a company Christmas party, and cheese and meat for the vegan amuses me.

This is not something you see everyday. [link]

I'll say! Now I want a Yo Yo Ma!

I have no other thoughts...

There's a new book that tells kids how great it is to have measles. [link]

I wonder if these same people would like some smallpox, as well.

I wonder if these are the same people who claim smallpox wasn't eradicated, it's just called chicken pox now.