I need to move the crib out and we were going to give it to a friend, except now drop side cribs are verboten. So maybe not?

Most drop-side cribs can be configured to not drop. (We accepted a hand-me-down drop-side crib for Aeryn because the alternative was spending money we didn't have. So there's also that.)

Soylent Green is other people!!!!

And Jesse has met them.

I need a doppelganger.

What it was an Evil!Sparky who gave everybody a Needs Improvement on their review, grilled the candidate mercilessly, and tracks down and slaps everybody who called on the Sass phone with false leads and mean prank calls?

Kat, I'm so sorry it took me so long to give it to him. If it's any consolation, I think now was possibly the best time for him to receive it, she says sheepishly.

You know when you've got an important but very technical thing to communicate to a client, and your sales and marketing types are all "Help us understand this highly technical piece of information! And then make the information exciting! Make it sparkle!"

Yeah, I don't know how to make it SPARKLE, people. You keep telling me to make it shiny, but nobody's giving me any solid feedback on how to make boring and technical shit unicorns and rainbows!

Maybe these will help: [link]

Tom, at this point I totally would draw an interpretive ppt slide in glitter pen if I had any idea how to format and present this information.

Kat, I'm so sorry it took me so long to give it to him. If it's any consolation, I think now was possibly the best time for him to receive it, she says sheepishly.

Oh, ita, no apology necessary at all. I had forgotten about it (and when I think about it, I think about the one I made for my friend David who just died this spring which makes me sad) Why was this time a better time?

Sparky, I'm going swimming. Obligations be damned.

OMG, such a clusterfuck just now. I was waiting for a document coming by courier that I had to sign and send back with the courier. They took it at 10am, but hadn't gotten here by 12:15 when I went to get lunch. So then my coworker talked me into to sitting down to eat, because we have Things To Discuss, and of course the courier got here at 12:16. Luckily, he waited around, and another coworker brought it up to my office right when I got back, and I signed the stuff and gave it back. But ugh! I should have come right back to my desk with my sandwich!

DH is hosting some meetings on using social media in marketing. It's HILARIOUS to me because he doesn't even know what a hashtag is.

Who's idea was it to make the actuary head of marketing????

The Dodgers are bankrupt. Good to hear that there are stupider owners than Wilpon.