bonny, do you have celiac disease?

Am. Tired.

Haven't had dinner yet, but perhaps I shouldn't have dinner at all? I am exhausted and there is nothing I want other than pasta.

I spent 16 hours over the past two saturdays learning about ABT (not American Ballet Theater but Applied Behavioral Therapy, which is like dog training but for problem kids). It's the only thing we can get covered by regional center. Really, what I want is a speech therapist and an occupational therapist/feeding therapist.

Why can't I be hungry at 8 when I'm at the market? After looking up that site, I SO WANT THEIR BISCUITS AND BBQ from this am. Wahhh.

Unfortunately, during the hours of market, I'm very much not hungry. Oh, I'll impulse buy fruits and vegs (see the pickling cukes-oh, need to get jars- and the cherries AND apricots AND strawberries. And I got clementines later. Um.) but prepared food if not already on my plan is rejected.

I had sushi. It was decent.

Just watched a couple movies on HBO. HBOCP wouldn't happen to stand for HBO Coloured People, would it? No? Anyway, The Best Man was on it, and I came away from it thinking "those are real people" and "where did the black, non-Tyler-Perry, movie go?" And, separately, from Going The Distance, not excited by Drew Barrymore. Her lisp bothers me. And I resent her bralessness, because I'm petty like that.

bonny, do you have celiac disease?

No, thank goodness, in so far as I do not have the painful symptoms. I know folks who do and it's awful.

I have an intolerance that causes me to get super bloated, disturbs my sleep, makes me agitated and just. plain. nuts.

After I was so sick last year, you'd think I'd get wise, but I got a bit depressed and started self-medicating with wheat and sugar. This went on for months and culminated with me walking out of my house at 9 o'clock at night, praying that the nearest bakery would close late so that I could nab some cupcakes.

That was when I took a good look at my behavior and the sad, sad fact that my mind was saying "don't do it" AS I was stuffing the junk in my mouth. But, I couldn't seem to stop myself.

I wish I could joke about it, but it really isn't funny. I was behaving exactly as an alcoholic would...justifying behavior, getting in the way of enjoying my life, causing me physical distress, etc. You can only suffer so may sleepless nights, and caffeine/sugar boosted days before things start to fall apart.

I just added HBO so I can start watching True Blood. And this means I can catch up on Game of Thrones as well. Can I just say how much I looooove that Charter has customer service people on Twitter. I never have to call them on the phone ever.

I think I can mark the tickybox for ghostly experience this time around in my haunted hotel stay. While I was putting clothes in the closet after getting back from dinner, something pulled the backs of both my socks away from my heels and snapped me lightly with them.

I don't know if the difference this time is being in another room, or my own proximity to death by heart attack after the climb. HMOG it was so much easier walking down the mountainside to the town in daylight than climbing back up through a deserted neighborhood at night! (On the plus side, no guilt whatsoever over having dessert after that; I more than worked it off.)

I got HBO for GoT, and I'm quite liking it, and don't think I'll cancel it as planned. I also considered getting Starz for Torchwood, but it's more expensive, and as far as I can work out, I get less for the price.

So, I'll be a bad person.

Which reminds me...hasn't Luther already started its second season? I gotta go look.

I'm going to stop whinging about my problems with the 'loaf' now, but it does strike me as crazy that, while I have abused alcohol in my life (mostly breakup binges in my youth), I have never even come close to being an alcoholic.

EVER. SINGLE. PERSON. in my family had problems with alcohol. Most died of alcohol and smoking related disorders.

Me? I tip into the gutter over french fries, cookies, Dr. Pepper, chocolate and bread.

Perhaps my mammoth control issues just wouldn't let me be that kind of intoxicated. Saturated in butter and salt, SURE...but not in booze.

Just seems weird.

How close are the molecules of alcohol and sugar? I have a very naive curiosity about whether they're related enough to trigger some physical reaction.

For me, it's salty/crunchy things that will destroy my will power.

How close are the molecules of alcohol and sugar?

I'm going to be doing the research.

I've heard that the molecules are really similar and do cause similar responses. Not sure how much that is me wishfully thinking though.

The salty/crunchy thing is huge for me but creamy/sweet does me in nearly as quickly.

Agh. I feel like I should be living in a bubble with healthy food shoved through a tube.