It just occurred to me that my inability to get any work done, both at home and school, is a function of not just twins but also a huge amount of anxiety. This is not good.

Eh, boners happen.

Yeah, but random boners touching me doesn't have to. Erections to yourself, strangers.

Kat, do you have time to see someone about it?

Am I wrong to be skeeved by having a waiter that one of my ex-roommates objected to sharing equipment with at work due to hygeine issues 15 years ago? I mean, he's a nice enough guy, and a lot of time has passed since then, but the roomie in question wasn't exactly Felix Unger himself. I spent the first 10 minutes in the restaurant praying that he wouldn't come in close contact with my food.

Yeah, Kat, you've got a ton on your plate. I'm not shocked to hear you're dealing with anxiety, and if you could see someone about it, it might be really helpful to you.

Erections to yourself, strangers.

File that one under rules you really shouldn't have to assert. But you do.

Uhg, Kat. I hope you figure it out.

Sent an email to security. Sad thought is that it'll get ignored because whoever reads it will not get that women take these considerations into everyday life, and it sucks. I remember a conversation with former officemate, who was a nice and thoughtful guy, and he was utterly aghast at the mental energy we normally expended on safety. Feh.

I had a near anxiety attack in the middle of TJ Maxx this evening. Not cool.

Lights are up. The big patio window is covered in white grid lights and the tree is blinged out in pretty multi-colored lights. Ornaments are next...eventually...likely tomorrow.

And, in preparation for Onerous Task day, the winter tires are in my car ready for me to take them to the shop in the morning. The other task I have been avoiding has too much backstory to note here, but I'm not sure if I'm mentally ready to deal with it.

ita, time? um. NSM. I think I just have to get to Christmas. Between now and then we have a pre-op physical for Grace, Grace's IEP which we had reopened, Noah's Christmas program, Parent-Teacher conferences at K's school, parent-teacher conferences at my school, submitting grades, christmas shopping, a bronchoscopy and laryngotomy for Grace, Grace's first PT appointment at a new clinic, K's jury duty, renting a facility (The Peterson Auto Museum!) for Noah and Grace's birthday party in March (no seriously), Noah's class party.

And a partridge in a pear tree!

Onerous Task day is my bro's b-day. I will paypal him a car part. Because I am that lame.

renting a facility (The Peterson Auto Museum!) for Noah and Grace's birthday party in March (no seriously)

Oooooh!

And here I'm whining about scheduling a not-really-date via a proxy. (Notthinkingnotthinkingnotthingking.)

is the proxy Rachel?

It kills me that I've known Rachel for over a decade now!