When is your reading, Allyson? I have two bat lovers who want to come hear it.

Bat masks would be pretty easy for them to do, Allyson. Maybe maps of everywhere they've been in their lives, a la Sam? You could give them a basic map, and let them color in their routes, etc.

Have cut out paper bats for them to decorate?

I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. Blech. And I had a very disturbing dream this morning. I'm still trying to shake off the images from that dream.

(OK not serious about that one but it would be funny to see them running around with their eyes closed.)

Sounds like a terrific thing to do with kids a week or so before Christmas. Like school does anything productive at this time of year anyway.

Ohhh, if you have bat confetti, combine that with Amy's idea and use the mini-bats to mark out the map.

I'm profoundly irritated.

This was the email I got:

Before I put you on the schedule I had a few questions. I'm assuming that you would like to sell your books. Have you thought about how you would like to do that? Also, do you plan on doing something besides reading aloud? It might be a good idea to have some sort of activity to engage the kids in as well.

Have I thought about how I would like to sell books? Sure. You are a bookstore. You buy some books. I read to the audience and answer their questions. They get a book, bring it to the register, and PROFIT!

You should be, that's a dickful email.

Between Amazon refusing to sell the book, and no actual reviews of the book, I'm just going to sit here and be sort of embarrassed.

Expecting you to be an educator or a kid wrangler is way crazy, Allyson. You're an author. You wrote a book for kids. You could hate them or be bad with them--it doesn't mean your book shouldn't sell. Why are they conflating all these responsibilities?

You should reply to that email like this:

"You're a bookstore, so I assume you have books on how not to be an idiot."