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Huh, I actually have found a reason for the bifocals, now, though I imagine I looked like my mother when I tipped back my head to peer through the lower part of my lenses.

Oh, I'm not sure I should have tried to read that font with my head like this. But it worked! It may be time for a lie-down.

They are both medicated at this point and I can really see the boy's meds wearing off by the time he gets to me at 4pm. It just points up how much MORE she has to deal with each day.

We just had the boys ADHD/Aspergers appointment yesterday. Due to a growth spurt and the wearing off of the meds by 4 p.m. and thus issues in the after school program, his dosage is changing. He is at 72 mg Concerta in the a.m. (6:30-ish) and now 18mg at Noon to carry him through the day. He was taking 5mg Ritalin in the afternoon but there was a roller coaster of emotions due to the meds wearing off pre-Ritalin.

As for the parent, parenting an ADHD kid requires a lot of work on routine (which you know), structure and finding the right activities for the kiddo. Is the parent feeling so hopeless/helpless she can't/doesn't have the energy left to do the work?

waves quietly, but gleefully at the Betsy sighting

Olivia got Draculara last week. She promptly decided it didn't have enough blood so she drew blood spots all over it with a red Sharpie. I should post pictures for Jilli.

Yes, you should! And it should come as a surprise to no one that my parents gave me Draculara and Frankie Stein for my birthday. Yes, I turned 42, my parents gave me dolls. They know me very well.

As for the parent, parenting an ADHD kid requires a lot of work on routine (which you know), structure and finding the right activities for the kiddo. Is the parent feeling so hopeless/helpless she can't/doesn't have the energy left to do the work?

Sometimes she says she 'shouldn't have to' do more or different things. The anger and disappointment are understandable, but don't help.

I'll give her credit for trying some of the routines we talk about here, like a checklist for getting ready in the morning. It hasn't stuck much, but at least she put it up.

slayeroshadow, does the medication cause fatigue? Apparently, it takes this boy a really, really long time to wake up in the morning because he is so tired. The lateness causes huge problems in terms of him not being able to use his DS in the morning, which leads to enormous screaming fights.

But...he thinks I have some "right" or something to not be in constant pain, and he has something called a "duty" to minimise the amount of pain I'm in

Let me just say how much I totally support this! And wish you the best of luck with working it out. And working from home.

does the medication cause fatigue?

They used to, until we realized he wasn't getting to sleep at night. He now takes 9mg melatonin at night, is up at 6:30 a.m. on the dot, follows his routine checklist (meds, breakfast, teeth, face, get dressed). He then is allowed to play DS or watches tv with his extra time. He is 10, btw. However, pre-meds in the morning consist of bouncing off the walls and terrorizing his sister.

Edit to add:---the checklist was only fully embraced when accompanied by an award system at first. As in, complete 4 days successfully, pick a prize (dollar store items!). We tapered the award system off after a few months.

Sometimes she says she 'shouldn't have to' do more or different things. The anger and disappointment are understandable, but don't help.

"Shouldn't have to?" Nobody should have to wipe up diarrhea but when you're a parent you do. I don't know if her anger and disappointment need to be validated so much, as she needs to get over her sense of entitlement that life didn't meet her expectations. It's just resentment on her part.

They used to, until we realized he wasn't getting to sleep at night. He now takes 9mg melatonin at night, is up at 6:30 a.m. on the dot, follows his routine checklist (meds, breakfast, teeth, face, get dressed). He then is allowed to play DS or watches tv with his extra time. He is 10, btw. However, pre-meds in the morning consist of bouncing off the walls and terrorizing his sister.

Edit to add:---the checklist was only fully embraced when accompanied by an award system at first. As in, complete 4 days successfully, pick a prize (dollar store items!). We tapered the award system off after a few months.

Oh, thanks! I'll recommend they look into the melatonin option. That makes a lot of sense.

Their checklist is based on a daily allowance reward. He makes a dollar a day if he completes it. My sense though, is that there isn't much consistency. Whether he succeeds or fails seems to be predicated more on mood than actual results.

I use a sticker system for our sessions. He has a grid sheet with three categories: game/questions/plan. If he plays whichever game I set out, he gets to put a sticker in that space. If he answers the 2 or 3 specific questions about behavior, feelings, etc, he gets a sticker and if he helps to develop a plan for new/improved behaviors/strategies for the coming week, he gets another. Once the sheet is filled in (four sessions), he gets to choose a sheet of stickers to take home, plus he gets to present the worksheet to his mom for home-display.

Last month, we had a particularly bad day together, so only one sticker. Once the month was over, the two blank spaces were mysteriously filled. As if I wouldn't notice.

I know when I find myself wanting to wallow and roll around in that "I shouldn't have to" place that I have stopped remembering to see the issues that mac has as a physiological thing and not his choice. I wonder if the mother would be saying she shouldn't have to do certain things if her child were deaf or blind. Now maybe she is like some of my extended family and she just doesn't believe it, then that is just a whole different problem.