Trudy, I wasn't trying to say that people who bullied should be given a pass. I was commenting as to someone like Teri Hatcher, who according to my friend was a popular cheerleader, could conceive of themselves as being a geek, not popular, etc.

Of course, in the case of celebrities they may truly be fibbing because it plays better in the press if you *weren't* always popular.

You're absolutely right that someone being bullied shouldn't be handed a line about empathy as if that makes it all better.

I was quiet and socially awkward in high school, but I was part of the brain and art student crowds, and had a small circle of good friends I'd geek out about Middle Earth with that I'm still friends with to this day (more lasting friendships than my college and post-college ones, actually). My PE coach was the laid-back one, and also a neighbor, so I didn't undergo trauma like the kids in the crazy hypercompetitive coach's classes. Really, pretty much any unpleasantness I underwent in HS was due to things I said without thinking them through first.

Hrm. All this reminiscing has shaken loose a memory of being a gang leader in the 2nd or 3rd grade. The girls were the cats (my nom de guerre was Persian, if I'm not mistaken) and the boys were the dogs. Lots of hissing and such. I recall now that it went terribly wrong when the social order I tried to impress on the troops fell apart and somebody got violent. As the ringleader, I took the fall.

Huh. I wonder what I was thinking, other than that it was nice to have people 'on my side.'

I was a geek, bullied an pretty friendless until my senior year.

Not physical, but people were pretty mean to me -- I was socially awkward, had no fashion sense, and lived in my head a lot. I had one good girlfriend.

Amazingly enough, it was freaking LATIN CAMP that toughened me up. I hung out with people who didn't have this preconceived notion of me, so I got to be myself, and they thought I was pretty cool and smart and funny. So I started saying all the sarcastic, bitchy stuff in my head. And, like ita, I slapped this guy who was being a little bitch to me.

After that, it was much better. I hung out with some more kids from the gifted English class, smarted off to this popular boy in front of his friends (he was all making blow job jokes, and I was shaking inside, but managed a cool look and a "I don't eat rotten meat") and that was received well.

So, I guess my recommendation for teen girls would be learn Latin, smack a bitch, buy a purple bra and become bitter and sarcastic.

I just wish I'd discovered all this in 6th grade. I've never been bullied after that, and am The Girl I Want At My Back in all of my friends' books.

So, I guess my recommendation for teen girls would be learn Latin, smack a bitch, buy a purple bra and become bitter and sarcastic.

I should do this with the heroine of my next YA novel!

If you do, I TOTES want a author dedication!

Trudy, I wasn't trying to say that people who bullied should be given a pass. I was commenting as to someone like Teri Hatcher, who according to my friend was a popular cheerleader, could conceive of themselves as being a geek, not popular, etc.

Oh, I didn't think you were. It just sparked a memory.

Of course, in the case of celebrities they may truly be fibbing because it plays better in the press if you *weren't* always popular.

Or could be they were the bully.

So, I guess my recommendation for teen girls would be learn Latin, smack a bitch, buy a purple bra and become bitter and sarcastic.

When I was about... um... 20? I was at a beach house over New Years with a group of friends and strangers including my one really adorable cousin. Maybe a dozen of us. One guy who'd heard Jenny's cousin would be there expressed disappointment (not within my hearing) with me along the lines of "didn't know she'd be such a big momma..." and was promptly frozen out pretty hard.

I didn't know it had happened, just noticed the shunning and asked what was up. I laughed and declared him a prick. It was one of the happier more liberated moments of my young life.

not popular, but not really bullied. but lots of my friends were bullied, and I got a lot of the fall out. I really didn't get the bullying, so I was baffled by it . I just didn't understand meanness.

I was probably a bit of a bully (in the bossy sense) in early elementary. But I was also painfully shy. Go figure.

Brilliant peachy orange sunset tonight. Weirdly enough, sundogs earlier, which I associate with winter weather. Given the wispy cloud patterns, I'm guessing it's from Earl. Aaaaand now I have Goodbye Earl stuck in my head.