I would like to apologize to everyone for my selfish, irresponsible actions in having possibly indirectly fucked Tiger Woods at some point. During my irresponsible sexual activities, I should have foreseen the possibility that some of my partners might someday fuck Tiger Woods. In my defense, I haven't been having irresponsible sex regularly since Tiger Woods was 15 years old, and I sincerely doubt that either my gay girlfriend or my now-gay boyfriend, with whom I recklessly indulged in serial monogamy during Tiger's ages 15 to 25, have ever fucked anyone who fucked Tiger Woods, and since Tiger Woods has been married I have been celibate. However, it is still possible that I have indirectly fucked Tiger Woods, and I feel I need to take full responsibility for the possible consequences of my hypothetical actions. I may also have indirectly fucked his wife, and I would like to apologize to, uhm, anyone who's actually upset by that.
In conclusion, I've fucked enough people to have possibly indirectly fucked Tiger Woods AND his wife, and so, I win. My sincere apologies, you jealous wankers.
Yah, I was gonna say, given who I've fucked, I HIGHLY doubt any of them have fucked Tiger Woods. For that matter, most of them have not fucked anyone ELSE who would've fucked Tiger Woods. Though a few of them...well. Let's just say it'd be unlikely, but...some of my ex's exes are sketchy.
My best friend from elementary/middle school's older brother (a twin who we all idolized the both, plus they gave us rides in their monster trucks- they were in HS back then) now lives in the town I went to college in. Freaky. What are the odds?
For Roswell watchers:
I am watching a pbs show where they go back and trace celebrities roots. TThis one is about immigrant families.
Stephan Colbert's ancestor's name is "Michael Guerin"/
Ah, Zenkitty. It's not about quantity, it's about lack of quality. Okay, fine, both help.
I can think of at least one "no" I said that severely lessens my chances of having boned Mr. Woods. He wouldn't have to apologise to me for remote making out, would he?
Hopefully msbelle's asleep now.
ION, I LOVE MY HOOD.
Keys going to the sahm. New stair treads put out tickled my new friend. My council rep told me I made her day with our diggin' out story and pictures.
I got so damned lucky.
Today I had the bizarre experience of realizing that I'd never known a relative's real name until I read his obituary. I didn't know he was unwell and I'm sad for his wife and daughters, but he also was 86, so.
I found out my Great Aunt Gene's name was really Eugenia when the priest said it about forty-seven times at her funeral mass. And we were actually pretty close. It happens.
When I was in college I slept with a guy who's ex-girlfriend's ex-girlfriend's ex-girfriend was Jodie Foster. I was always impressed that I am four degrees of sexual seperation from Jodie Foster. He was always impressed that he was the only dude in the chain. We can all be impressed that Tiger Woods was surely in no way ever involved.
For the record, in case you have a choice, IVs to the fingers hurt like a bitch, and IVs on the palm side of the fingers worse.
I adore the Skip Gates PBS genealogy show. They showed Meryl Streep the village her Swiss great-grandfather came from, and she said, "It's so beautiful! They left there for - Newark?"
Both Kristi Yamaguchi's grandfathers were fascinating, and Queen Noor is such a lovely and classy lady. It's fun.
