When I was sadly petless, a friend came by to see my apartment for the first time and brought her dog. Not 10 minutes after they'd arrived, I went to the freezer to get ice for drinks and found a dog hair in the ice bin.

Pets are magic. Scary scary magic.

I'm so thrilled Grace is coming home. And can I ask how old they will be? I'm thinking three? But Noah seems so much bigger than currently two. But turning four seems way too big.

The nation's most populous state is asking its 38 million residents to stop using four-letter words for an entire week beginning Monday.

Fuck that noise. Wait, can I say "Meth"? I have to say that for the play.

I assume "frack" "frell" and "smeg" are still ok, right? So at least the nerds can still swear.

You're using two times two words as if there is no tomorrow. F***, t***, w***, h***, p***. You're going to be required to change things by the seven day period after Monday.

Overheard just now: Female Student #1 to Female Student #2, sadly: "I just don't know why David isn't buying me better gifts now that he has more disposable income." FS#2, sincerely: "I know you two are meant to be together. You should tell him."

I don't suppose they're in a class where you could suggest He's Just Not That Into You as a topic of discussion?

Fuck that.

The fucking fucker's fucked, fuck it.

I think that next week, I shall speak using nothing but swear words.

Fuck yeah!