My friends and I agreed on a half hour to hour grace period where those who enjoyed the movie could have an afterglow before those who disdained were allowed to pick it apart.

But it's a false dichotomy - I pick apart movies I love just as much as I do movies I hate (if not moreso), and I almost always have something I want to say the second the end credits roll to make sure I don't forget about it later.

Mostly I try not to see movies with people unless I know they'll enjoy tearing them apart with me afterwards. Having to hold my tongue to respect someone else's desire to "just enjoy it for what it is" will almost invariably lead to my hating the film because of the bad mood that not being able to talk about it puts me in.

But it's a false dichotomy

It's more of a compromise. Besides, it's not something you're beholden to. Just an agreement among my college circle of friends.

Also, I think some people just like to sit with their reaction after the end of the movie. Sometimes you walk out of a movie feeling one way, and when you've distanced yourself from that immediate, often visceral, experience, you might pick it apart and feel (for example) that it was too manipulative and got that emotional charge from you based on some cheap tearjerking (children in jeopardy! Soaring string section!) instead of earning it narratively.

The post-film nitpicking is part of the experience for me. If I'm not going to analyze a film and pick it apart, why see it at all?

This is true for me, too.

Megan Walker and I had a great experience recently, when we saw A Simple Man and walked out of the theatre hating every single character in the movie. We were all "let's go look at the poster and stare at it and make sure it was really the Coens..." and there was a tall man standing in front of the poster, sort of in post-movie euphoria.

I asked him sincerely "did you like this movie"?

"Yes. It was exceptional. I grew up in Minneapolis during the time period depicted and this movie captured the experience perfectly. What did you think?"

Megan and I both gulped and I asked "so it was just like that? ...did you absolutely loathe every single person who surrounded you?"

"Yes."

And we all burst out laughing. But that little moment led me to rethink the movie and appreciate what it accomplished. I just didn't have the cultural reference points to properly evaluate it. But I've never had that problem with any previous Coen bros movie.

Psst, A Serious Man.

Regardless, that was too funny.

Psst, A Serious Man.

(Oh how funny, I always get that mixed up! And I even thought, while I was typing "what does that smug guy say? "I'm a simple man"? Yeah...that's right.)

I have to add that I am notoriously choosy about who I go see movies with, and under what circumstances. I hate watching movies at someone's house (outside of an SO), mostly because if I am headed over to someone's house, I want to visit. And I don't visit while watching movies.

I am really uptight about talking, chewing, texting etc when it comes to watching movies in a theatre, and will go get an usher is someone is repeatedly checking a cell phone (so that all I see is a neon light every 5 seconds) in front of me.

But what Jess said, I am mostly picky about it because the movies to me are an art form, and I respect them and want to take them in with someone who feels the same way. It's totally part of the experience to evaluate it afterwards! Steve has gotten used to this...he was more of the "I only go to movies to escape" kind before dating me. Now he likes to talk a little about them afterwards, but not as much as I do. He's learning though. And he doesn't talk during them, so that's awesome.

I am fine with immediate post-movie discussion 95% of the time, but there have been a few occasions when something pushed real buttons for me, and I needed a little processing time. Just, like, "not in the car, let's wait until we're back at the house." So the half-hour thing would have been perfect in those situations.

It's for everyone's protection, honestly; it's a gut-level feeling like, "If someone mentions X scene, even in a good way, I will start crying uncontrollably, and I'd prefer not to do that."

I am fine with immediate post-movie discussion 95% of the time, but there have been a few occasions when something pushed real buttons for me, and I needed a little processing time. Just, like, "not in the car, let's wait until we're back at the house." So the half-hour thing would have been perfect in those situations.

You're right. With extremely heavy-themed movies, I have to process, too. I recall seeing The Deer Hunter (a revival showing at my beloved New Beverly Cinema in LA) and being so thankful that my then-boyfriend completely understood that we just needed to be silent for a good long while.

But that little moment led me to rethink the movie and appreciate what it accomplished. I just didn't have the cultural reference points to properly evaluate it. But I've never had that problem with any previous Coen bros movie.

We had a similar experience with A Serious Man. I went with my MiL and Bob, and we all were deeply annoyed by the movie leaving the theatre. But then talking about it in the car, my MiL started obsessing about what it all MEANT, etc., and I think both her and Bob really gained a new appreciation for it.

X: The Unheard Music might be the best music documentary I've ever seen. I can't decide if I liked it better than We Jam Econo.