DUDE, no kidding! Flat's just WRONG.

Thanks to the glacial moraines, Michigan is hilly. Not foothills hilly, but hilly enough that didn't know what flat was until I drove through real flatlands.

I have been told that our mountains here (HUGE! CRAGGY! VOLCANIC!) are alarming to people from less rugged turf. I don't really get this, and the things I see called mountains back east confuse me, on account of them being puny little hill things.

I also went to a national forest in Idaho once, and the lack of dense ground cover like we have here shocked me. It's like the rest of the country is half dressed or something.

The other FLAT place I've been is Texas. Most of the time I've spent in and around Houston was deep enough into the city that I couldn't see the FLAT. And Austin is into Hill Country, and reminded me of a hotter, muggier Michigan.

The one saving grace of all the FLAT places I've been is that you get BIG SKY.

And in Texas in particular, the majesty of truly towering clouds and thunderheads is a sight to behold.

Which (as I have mentioned before) is the one thing I really miss living in SoCal -- real actual genuine thunderstorms. A couple of weeks ago, I got to watch a storm that had lots of lightning pass through the south and west of town, but it never got close enough for me to hear any thunder.

I still remember when we moved up to Cleveland and experienced our first freeze. We called some local friends and asked at what point would it be a good idea to leave the faucets dripping.

There was this silence on the phone, then a quizzical, "Why?"

And we were like, "To keep the pipes from freezing?"

After about five minutes of hysterical laughter, they assured us we didn't need to do anything so bizarre because in Ohio, they can bury the pipes below the frost line. Then they asked us why they didn't do that in Florida.

"Because is no such thing as a frost line. You go too far down and you're in a swamp, that's why."

Clearly, they never had to deal with burst pipes, either...

Flat freaks me out.

The middle of Michigan is very flat. Not Nebraska flat, but flat enough that it's possible to accidentally be driving 120mph because there is nothing to gauge your speed by as you drive past.

the things I see called mountains back east confuse me, on account of them being puny little hill things.

They're just elderly. Your mountains are mere adolescents.

things I see called mountains back east confuse me, on account of them being puny little hill things.

Yes.

The one saving grace of all the FLAT places I've been is that you get BIG SKY.

My favorite big sky. (And not flat, thanks to the same glaciers responsible for Michigan's Upper Penninsula.)

I also went to a national forest in Idaho once

One of the most awe-inspiring sights I've ever seen was in the Green Mountain National Forest. I was there for a Rainbow Gathering, and went walking off into an unoccupied part of the park. I turned a corner and came upon a massive deadfall the size of two or three football fields, with some Green Mountain peaks behind it. To quote Neil Armstrong (I believe) "Beautiful devastation."