Was your house stuck in a 70s time warp?

One third of it was. One third was stuck in a 50s time warp. And one third was the third that used to need the outhouse, epitomizing the word "timeless" but not in a good way. In a way that meant there was a giant hole in the floor.

And we couldn't make any repairs because a) we were clueless and b) it didn't belong to us.

Ah, good times, good times.

"...and of course David Smay".

The Notorious Mr. Smay.

If I have towels that match, it's purely by accident. Same with plates and cutlery.

Yeah, I come from a family that was, not poor exactly, but needed to be very careful, cause if they had not been careful to really stretch a dime, they would have been poor. And most of our friends were like that too. So we always made sure to discuss gifts - cause getting someone a gift that they did not want was an unaffordable waste. Surprise gifts were seen as wasteful, something the rich or the unthrifty did. And not really a fair viewpoint. But the opposite of the "no lists" people.

The Notorious Mr. Smay.

Did he ever mention that at the end of his last decent long-term temp job (not the umbrella farm, but the one before) his co-workers presented him with a coat of arms and a plastic sword?

Shopping with a list (so as to give the person what they want) is NOT walking the ball over to the hole and dropping it in. I fail to see how shopping with a list is akin to cheating.

Who said anything about cheating? This is not a contest.

I also fail to see the implied virtue in list-free shopping, as though the gift means more because you had to work harder by continuing to putt at the windmill.

::drops miniature golf metaphor::

Tep, I don't know why you're taking me articulating how and why I buy gifts as a personal critique but it is not.

It means something to me to find a thoughtful gift for somebody. It literally means nothing to me to buy them something from a list. Because for me that negates the process. Why and how you buy gifts is different. You buy gifts to make that person happy. Why would I ever say that was a bad thing?

I am only talking about what is meaningful to me. I didn't ask Jesse to be on the lookout for mystery novels that displayed an obsessive fascination with rare soul music. But it was really cool for her to give me a book by George Pelecanos. That means way more to me than getting something off my Amazon wishlist. It is just this very nice little thread in our friendship.

The exception to that is Emmett (and Matilda when she gets to a more discerning age). With Emmett I do care about giving him what he asks for - gratifying him - but that is because I provide for him. Also, Emmett (more than anybody else I know) takes particular pleasure in The Having Of Stuff. Like Scrooge McDuck Swimming In A Pool Of Money levels.

He's excited to get new Lego sets, he enjoys assembling them, he plays with them contentedly for hours, but beyond all that he basks in the pleasure of having the Legos. He's kind of the same way about money. He likes having it way more than he enjoys spending it.

Random moment of my day-- I'm in SF for the day, and went to lunch with the SF library staff, who were talking about HRpeople who had come and gone since they had been working at the firm. I was kind of zoning out until they got to "...and of course David Smay".

Heh. Was that my friend Carol? And how did you respond to that?

Well, dropping the ball would be cheating in miniature golf, so I can see where she's getting that.

That said, of course gift-giving differs widely between people and traditions and certainly cultures. It's one of the reasons I could never survive in the heavy gift-giving culture if I lived in Hawaii. I barely made it by in Native America.

In gift-to-myself news, I just found $150 in my Paypal account that I had forgotten all about! It's like finding a twenty in my pants! Only, you know, more so.

(a) indeed unopened and (b) a scent you like, want it?

Hell yeah, babee!

Well, dropping the ball would be cheating in miniature golf, so I can see where she's getting that.

Yeah, but winning isn't the point of miniature golf for me. It's all about the trash talk.