I'm with Jesse, tommy. There are life values that can come out of religion that are the same as ones that come without religion, and that's the big stuff.

Tommy, there's probably a lot of people out there who believe in some kind of god/are spiritual, but that aren't actively religious. Just because they believe doesn't mean they want to convert.

What they said. There's no reason to think that if someone is religious that they will try to convert you, condescend to you, or otherwise be a dick about it. Bob is religious practically for a living and it's not an issue in our relationship.

tommy, I think it really really depends on the individual -- and possibly also the region, as different parts of the country definitely vary in their concentration of "I believe this; he believes that" vs. "Poor lost soul!" theists. I know of at least two very happy theist/atheist mixed marriages among my circle of acquaintances; in both cases there seems to be a great deal of mutual openness and respect -- both theists are big readers whose knowledge base ranges far outside their own particular faiths and who, while they firmly believe what they believe, explicitly reject any notion that anyone who fails to believe just what they do is inherently wicked and hellbound, and both atheists are scrupulous about not mocking their partners' beliefs and respecting the fact that these are some of the things that made the people they love exactly who they are.

It does seem that, as long as there's mutual respect for the other person's point of view, it's one of those differences that are more negotiable than they seem, but it also seems to mostly depend on the individuals. So it may be something you wouldn't want to screen against from the beginning.

What makes it slightly more pressing is I've met someone in real life (not online) (Which, like, hasn't happened to me in years). We're gonna go out (on a date!) in a week and a half. So far, the religious thing hasn't been a major topic of conversation, but I do know that briefly she was pursuing a Masters in religious studies. She's rather progressive but does go to church almost every Sunday. She's also kind of New-Agey (I think). My Evil Godless ways haven't come up yet, although she knows I'm not a conservative Christian like my parents and that I've done the sperm donor thing to my sister's GF.

It's weird - If I'd run across her online at a dating site I probably wouldn't have contacted her, figuring we were too different, but in actuality I'm a little smitten with her.

Comments: I suspect there are people out there who consider themselves believers in Something who don't feel the need for someone they date to be a believer in the same Something or Anything at all. You might like to date some of them, so don't limit yourself. Cast the net wide-ish, I say.

Which is totally easy for me to say, since I'm not casting any nets at the moment.

I don't know that pursuing a Master's in Religious Studies is likely to make somebody more religious.

(My mother had an M.Div. and uh, she was in no way a proselytizer. Actually, she was raised Buddhist, converted to Christianity as a teenager, studied the Old Testament in grad school and wound up. . . Buddhist.)

Unless you are an 'evangelical atheist' I would at leas be open to the possibility of dating someone that has a stronger religious interest than you do. Assuming that by dating you are hoping there might be something more serious, there are lots of traditions and rituals where compromises will need to be made . I have a friend who is an atheist- and is married to a religious woman - whose family started a church. She is not as religious as some of her family, but she is involved. He volunteers - does repair and maybe some art work - but he doesn't go to the men's breakfast.

I would never have picked my husband at an online dating site. He's not witty with the written word, he can't spell, and he's not what I consider "my type" physically either.

He also believes in God, and I don't (although he's not at all religious - was raised Catholic, but has sort of vague spiritual beliefs and a vague interest in Buddhism.)

We're gonna go out (on a date!) in a week and a half.

Fun!