This week’s Time magazine has a very funny final page: “God’s Inbox.”

It’s a graphic made to look like a screen shot of God scanning his e-mail list. In the background are various icons on his wallpaper (The Almighty, Earth, Other Planets, Pluto, lightning.jpg, Best of George Burns.wmv, ’08 elections results, Earth-Plan B.doc, Jesus baby pics), a minimized window of Google Earth (searching “Vatican”), and He’s currently listening to Ethel Merman’s “You’re the Top.” The list of e-mails are:

Phoebe773@aol.com – Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name
billybob@ninemile.net – Momma’s lung cancer, yeah she smoked like a BBQ but ple…
surfrgrl@myspace.com – Can you, like, clear up my skin before the prom?
said@somalinet.so – Please send rain, crops need rain, goats need rain
zeus@olympus.org – Lunch next week?
OBL@alqaeda.org – LET THE UNBELIEVERS PERISH
Sean223@eircom.ie – Sweet Jesus would you let me win the bleedin lotto just th…
jc@kingdom.net – Hey Dad would you please stop forwarding lotto requests
benny16@vatican.va – Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam promotionem nostrum
mel@oldtimereligion.org – Do I have to apologize to all of them, or just the Hollywoo…
bigdudley@freeserve.uk – URGENT: WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY (Excel doc, 90MB)
mary@virgin-mediterran... – Re: re: re: re: DNA test (Joseph’s idea)
tony@thefamily.com – How about I wake up tomorrow and I’m an accountant or som…
ceo@engulfanddevour.co... – Not an audit, please God, anything but an audit
Rafael_nunez@us.army.mil – Just get me through this hitch (26 MORE DAYS)
topgun@whitehouse.gov – So, who do I liberate next?
pat@christiancoalition.org – LET THE UNBELIEVERS PERISH
rabbilevinger@hebronet.il – LET THE UNBELIEVERS PERISH
sktbrdr7@earthlink.net – If I pass trig I promise I’ll never you-know-what again
rdawkins@oxford.edu – You don’t exist. I have ironclad, copper-bottomed, irrefu…
sktbrdr7@earthlink.net – Well maybe once a week
kaitlin98@verizon.net – Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Buddha@dharma.net – Re: re: wrath management
Cust.svc@amazon.com – Your Amazon order LIFE BEGINS AT 15 BILLION has shipp…

BWAH!

So God doesn't get any spam? Lucky bastard.

He's probably got one heck of a filtering program.

So God doesn't get any spam? Lucky bastard.

Yeah. He probably wouldn't need His Penis enlarged anway, as He could just do it Himself.

I think I'm going to have to buy that issue just for that page. I particularly love the Best of George Burns thing. Oh, and Jesus asking him to stop forwarding the lotto requests.

I wonder how many people will be outraged. Hopefully a lot fewer than I think.

Oh god. Carrot Top. I need to share my horror and revulsion.

Oh god. Carrot Top.

Doesn't he sorta' look like an alien in that top picture?

I'm sorry, I just can't look at it again to see if you're right. I'm too busy trying to induce hysterical amnesia.

aw shrift, why you gotta do us that way?