Yeah, I've thought about the first guy who smoked tobacco, too. I had another "first" thing, too, and now I can't remember what it was.
The most obvious head-scratcher to me these days is behaving as crudely and obnoxiously as possible, revealing the absolute worst of human urges, and doing on TV. KNOWING you're doing it on TV, in fact. (I'm thinking more Maury and Jerry Springer here than Survivor or Amazing Race, but only by a little bit.)
I believe that humanity has tried to eat everything, at least once. And if the first shot didn't work, you try cracking, peeling, shaking, stripping, burning or whatever else you can think of, and then try eat it again.
Actually, now that you mention it, I would bet all the money in the entire world that for some for some particularly bizarre foodstuffs, the rationale for the first person eating it was
"I watched a
[animal]
eat one."
It might just be that I'm lucky enough to never have seen congealed vomit.
Don't ride public transit, huh? I saw it just last Friday. The man next to me was teasing his girlfriend by speculating as to what it might have originally been -- pizza? Taquitos? till we jointly made him stop.
Let's all just be thankful that somebody discovered the (cooked) onion. After that culinary milestone, liver and kidneys and I-don't-know-what at least don't sound so bad.
My guess with artichokes is they threw it in the fire for fuel and it smelled yummy.
Seperating eggs was probably a grossed out kid whining about hating the one or the other.
Maybe they weren't super sanitary and lots of things already smelled like pee so they didn't really notice... or they salted and smoked them and then soaked them and whatever remaing pee just tasted like salt.
I imagine that the First Instance of Humans Eating [insert visibly scary foodstuff] probably followed their observation of animals eating [visibly scary foodstuff]. Like the legend of Kaldi the goatherder seeing his goats get all hopped up on goofballs coffee beans.
And despite the fact that I am Chandler-Bingesque smoker, it is very bizarre to think that we light something on fire and then STICK IT IN OUR MOUTHS and inhale the smoke. I mean, really, how the hell did this practice catch on?
I'll go you one better. Think about the act of kissing. Not how it makes you *feel* when you're doing it right, with someone who's also doing it right. But the actual physical act of kissing. WEIRD, yo.
I'll go you one better. Think about the act of kissing. Not how it makes you *feel* when you're doing it right, with someone who's also doing it right. But the actual physical act of kissing. WEIRD, yo.
I think that comes from mothers masticating food and giving it to infants. Then people kept kissing because it was sorta homey. Then it turned them on and they all went into therapy for ten thousand years.
Buffistas: Making themselves as self-conscious as possible since 1999.
Buffistas: Thinking Too Much since 1999