It's a good time to think about being not-an-admin and doing something else with my life.

Amen, brother. I have not a single tiny moment of doubt that you will look back at the moment you were fired (miserable asshats, by the way) and think "thank.you.god." because it will have been what sparked you to do something that will end up making you a jillion times happier.

And how cool is it that you when people ask what you are doing you do NOT have to say "looking for a job" but instead "writing/finishing my book." (Even better that when they say "Oh, really, what are you writing about? You get to say "Tom Motherfucking Waits." I mean, you might drop the middle name depending on who you are talking to.)

The stink of having worked so hard for a bunch of lying liars will soon wash away, but the chance this gives you will undoubtedly change your life.

The last time I was let go from a job it started a chain of events that brought me to Chicago which has completely transformed my life in ways that I am so so happy about. But the night it happened? I cried as hard as I could and thought I was going to die and be poor and miserable forever.

I've been there too -- in my case it was laid off from Lotus. Seemed like my world was ending at the time, but it led to many good good things. Strangely enough, one of the best things about that was I had plenty of time to get my writing 'career' underway.

I wish to report that I now have a complete list of first and second choices for my mix. Except that I'm missing at least two CDs that have my first choices on them, damn it.

(If anybody has the Rhino Records Doo Wop Box III, Volume Four, could I ask a special favor?)

This kinda got run over in Natter so I'll repost here since it's pertinent.

Hec, I've posted my reaction to your situation before. It sucks. I think they fucked you over and I'm really sorry they did it and aim many psionic harpoons at them. However, I'm really happy you have the book deal lined up, have a little money socked away, and have the great attitude that allows you to view it as an "artistic grant". I think you're going to write a kick-ass book and have a great time interviewing all those luminaries including possibly Waits hisself.

I completely empathize on the not wanting to be an admin stuff. I'm 40 and even though I do so much more than office support work, people view me as beneath them because of doing admin work. Even worse because of my age. They figure I must be a moron if I'm still doing admin work at 40. Nothing like getting looked down on by a 24 year-old with a communications degree from CHICO STATE.

Today is my last day at work. As well as the last day for 7 other people who were hit in this round of layoffs. I'm oddly chipper. While my future is by no means secure (I have no savings and live from paycheck to paycheck), temporarily at least, I feel a great weight lifted from my shoulders. There were things about this workplace I really liked and I'll be lucky if I get those traits in my next job, but my position itself was dead end and completely disrespected. So I got bitter and began having trouble shifting myself out of bed each morning.

I was very resistant to taking anti-depressants again, but it's been a good thing so far. I'm much more positive. I can see the bad points but I don't let them overwhelm me the way they used to. Which is INVALUABLE in my current circumstances. So today I'm feeling a bit up, eager to get out and get on with my life. I have a lot of work ahead as this layoff comes right about the time construction is finishing on the house. I will have a SHITLOAD of cleanup work to do from 1.5 years of lead paint, wood, and other toxic dust as well as having my stuff tossed around the house more times than an irate Skycap could have accomplished. I have lost things I have to find. I have to consult a lawyer to negotiate the weird territory of having renters but being a landlord-on-premises. Then I have to start the always yucky process of looking for housemates. And pray I can find people I can get along with before my money runs out.

Then there’s trying to give my life structure so I don’t fall into depression. Thank god it’s spring. It’s a sunny day today and gorgeous. This will make it easier to go out and take walks and ride my bike. I need to get back into a regular exercise habit and unemployment is the perfect time to do it. I need to make time for my art and this will be a huge challenge because the voices my parents installed in me will be screaming that I’m too broke to afford such fripperies, that I should be looking for a job 24/7 and that I should take anything because everyone works at jobs they hate and why should I think I’m so special as to deserve a job that’s actually fulfilling?

Today, anyway, I feel up. And I feel like it’s possible to meet these challenges.

"50 Special" is also a pretty damn cute song, btw.

Rock on, Spidra. If you find a way to bottle that spirit, you will be a rich woman. And I would like to be your first customer, please.

Tina's experience of unexpected good coming from a crappy situation is something I've observed too, and is what I wish for you both, Spidra and David.

ION, I've lost a Winfield buddy. Tina, he's from Wichita and played for contra dances all over the state. If you know any contra dance folk, they probably know him. He was a fine fiddler whose joy when playing was palpable. I will miss hearing him play, running in to him on walkabout, giving him a hard time about nothing. I will miss him.

ION, I've lost a Winfield buddy.

Oh, kate. That's a hard loss. Lots of ma and strength to you and all who knew him. It's nice to think of all the toasts and stories that will be told in his honor at Winfield next year and many years after I am sure.

I don't know Winfield, but I do occasionally contra dance. I'll hoist a toast to you and yours tonight, katefate.

I just found 3 disks from the way back long ago CD swap. WHEE! ripping them in now.

I didn't get home from work 'til a half hour ago so I haven't hoisted yet. But I'm listening to Bayonics on KPFA right now..and OMG...a modren band I like! Kids I dig! I feel a little less like a cranky old lady right now...

Somebody swapped me "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter a couple months ago, and it quickly went into my regular 'favorites' rotation. Surprised as hell as anything to hear it playing on regular pop radio a couple days ago....