Maybe I should stick to meetings and reports. The internet has too much EWWW!

Nasty.

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A third alternative to evolution and intellignent design:

Yesterday, President Bush endorsed the idea of teaching intelligent design 'theory' alongside evolution and natural selection in schools.

I'd like to propose a third alternative theory. I call it the theory of "Design by Unintelligent Hand," or "DUH" for short. The basic concept? The Creator is an utter dumbass.

Consider the evidence:

1. The dark. One of the big ideas behind Intelligent Design is that there's no way an eye could evolve. My contention? There's no way a Creator who wasn't a goddamn imbecile would create eyes that don't work half the time.

2. Toes. They're just dangling there, off the end of your feet, with a bunch of fragile little bones. Combine these with #1 above, and you've got a recipe for disaster. You think Jonathan Ives would have created something as stupid as toes?

3. Nonspecific urethritis. I can understand a Creator trying to enforce draconian anti-sex measures by punishing people who break them with oozing pustules and fiery pain when they urinate, because, hey, that's what Creators do. But random urinary tract infections? Just, y'know, out of the blue, not being able to take a piss without screaming? That's just stupid.

4. Gravity's acceleration. Stuff breaks when it falls at 32 ft/sec^2. A little gravity's good--you don't want your coffee to go flying off the desk, after all--but why's it got to be so heavy? And don't get me started on what happens when you drop a bowling ball on #2 up there. You think the Creator hasn't done that a time or two and thought to himself, "Good gravy, I'm a fool"?

5. Tiger cubs. They are almost unbearably cute--so cute that if you saw one, you'd want to take it home. But then it grows up and EATS YOU. Good thinkin', there, C!

6. Genetics and natural selection. Anybody who's ever smushed a generation of drosophila melanogaster except the ones born with red eyes and has then seen the next generation born with red eyes understands the principles behind heritable traits and the idea that selecting for those traits makes it more likely the next generation will have them. So we have a Creator who goes to the trouble of making this simple, effective system, and then ignores it completely to create a billion or so species out of thin air. The sharpest tool in the shed? I THINK NOT.

Obviously, this is a theory whose time has come. Please join me in demanding that DUH be taught alongside evolution and intelligent design in our nation's classrooms.

[link]

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Maybe I should stick to meetings and reports. The internet has too much EWWW!

Nasty.

Why was this coach only reprimanded, and not fired? That's downright craxy.

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Is it wrong to admire these guys:

[link]

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Well, Wolfram, I guess it depends on what you are admiring them for.

Though reading that, it sounds like an Ocean's 13 plot.

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I don't endorse thievery, but there's something impressive about a non-violent bank robbery of that magnitude. Maybe that's why there have been so many movies with just that plot.

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Quester! Sgt. Gabriel herding kittens with pillows was so cute!

I was wondering if they were just going to drop the whole kitten thing -- I'm glad that they didn't.

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Is it wrong to admire these guys:

I think you can probably admire their industry and ingenuity, if not their goals and accomplishments.

That's a lot of hard work. I'd rather get a job.

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From Wired:

Smackfest Slapped Down
A New York City radio station has agreed to stop its Smackfest promotion -- women slapping each other for prizes. WQHT Hot 97, a hip-hop station owned by Emmis Communications, held 24 Smackfest contests and then posted images on its website of the young women fighting. It was hit with a $240,000 fine for violating a state law prohibiting the promotion of a combative sport. New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer said the fine should be a wake-up call for businesses that think "outrageousness is a clever marketing strategy."

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Promotion of a combative sport? Isn't boxing a combative sport?

Not that I'm pro-Smackfest. I'm too fragile for Smackfest.

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