I definitely need food and coffee before leaving the house, as discussed here already, but the food part is the key. Actually, somewhat recently I had toast first thing, but no coffee, and a couple of hours later was about to start STABBING EVERYONE, and then I realized why. Oops.

So the process is get up, shower, dress, leave house, purchase coffee, drink coffee?

Yep. I'm on autopilot until I hit Pico and the caffeine starts to kick in.

ETA: Not to mention the nicotine.

My standard morning routine involves checking e-mail, getting up to date on four or five sites, watching an "hour" of TV, a long shower, and breakfast.

Intellectually I understand that cutting down to a short shower and breakfast would mean I could sleep an hour more.

It just never takes.

What I don't understand about all you night owls is how you manage to make coffee when you're barely functional.

I force my bf to get up and make it for me or go to Starbucks when he's out of town. That is how.

These days I get up at 5:40, put on my robe and stumble to the living room to my rocker. I sit down and get handed a baby to feed.

I am distinctly not a morning person. I can usually function well enough to get myself showered, dressed, and to work, but I can't eat for at least an hour after I wake up, and I do much better if I don't talk to people.

bon bon, is your work place dress code business casual, and if so, what does that mean where you work?

What's up? No, I mean, what does non-morning mean?

I do my best work at night. Left to my own devices, I will stay up until dawn, crawl into bed not long before the sun comes up, and stay there until sometime after noon.

Therefore I have a conflict when I'm expected to wake an hour or three after I want to go to sleep. Many mornings, I find myself clutching the alarm clock, eyes swollen, hair askew, and frantically saying, "I CAN'T READ!!!" Because I can see red numbers looking back at me like evil little demons from a hell dimension, but I can't actually comprehend what they mean.

A hot shower and coffee grant me a small amount of brain function and motor control. It doesn't actually keep from wanting to destroy the universe. It's a good thing destroying the universe takes effort, because otherwise, I would have done it years ago.

This is why, five or six days out of seven, I wake up wrathful and stay that way.

What I don't understand about all you night owls is how you manage to make coffee when you're barely functional.

Pete is FAR more of a morning person that I am. Which is why he makes the coffee.

I find myself clutching the alarm clock, eyes swollen, hair askew, and frantically saying, "I CAN'T READ!!!"

You don't mind if I cast Jaye Tyler for this, do you?

You want fun? Try not being a morning person and having to avoid consuming a lot of caffeine (defined as my old habit of two diet sodas per day) for medical reasons. If I hadn't cut the simple carbs mostly out of my diet, I'd be a divorcee at the very least by now for dragging my butt and being snappish.